characters pwease?

[CRASH]

SPECIES
Vampire/Human

NAMES
Crash/AYngel

USERNAME
Crash!

D=

I'd also like to get all my diary posts if possible....thanks!

[Isi Runasimi]

Of course. : ]

[Isi Runasimi]

FORM A

Alias: Crash Emil

Name: Crashista Marie Von E'milimmione

Gender: Obvious female

Orientation: Unknown

Age: 68

Species: Vampire, Vampyre, Night walker, "The Undead"

Job: She doesn’t have a specific “job”, more of a wanderer. Wandering from land to land, country to country, searching for excitement. Crash is unpredictable when it comes to financial aid. Her money is often scavenged from the wallets of her victims. Over the years, that money has accumulated. Crash is very prosperous when it comes to wealth.

Specialties: Crash is quite young compared to most of her kind, with only sixty eight years of experience, forty five of those years unwillingly devoted to being a night walker. Although some might view her age as a disadvantage, it’s often the complete opposite. Most of her opponents underestimate her because of her inexperience, giving her the chance to strike when they least expect it.
Crash may be abnormally strong in comparison to a human, but she’s definitely weak for her kind. But her limber and undeniable grace makes up for lack of strength. Flexibility and speed give a huge advantage for means of escape.

Crash has great eyesight. Whether it be in the darkest of areas or the brightest, her odd violet eyes are often envied for their unbelievable accuracy. She also has inhuman hearing, but Crash often ignores that sense due to her fantastic sight. It does come in handy though if for some strange reason Crash loses her sight, she’ll be able to keep her graceful swiftness and uncanny elegance with movement. But her most famous specialty is her hypnotic control. With violet orbs that can entrance her prey without hypnotic control in the first place, Crash has the upper hand on such a seductive procedure. Those bright eyes combined with the power to allure, the young vampire is most successful in this specialty. Pheromone control definitely compliments this in a delightful manner as well.

Since Crash is a pronounced “vampire”, it’s quite obvious she can heal quickly, quicker than a human. Twice as fast with the intake of blood. This little trick has saved her life more than once in the past. Another odd little thing that has helped Crash in the past is her innocence. But it’s dying with every passing day as she’s exposed to the terrors of the world. Her heart grows colder after each dreadful year, lonely, wishing for something or someone to restore her happiness. But this innocence, this ignorance that reflects in her violet gaze, it often has a hypnotizing effect. Another factor that contributes to her controlling powers.

Weakness: Now, with many advantages, there is always a downside to things. Crash has a certain illness that hinders her in everyday life. A rare and in fact unheard of blood related illness that attacks the nervous system. Crash cannot drink certain blood types in fear of lapsing into seizures or becoming unconscious spontaneously. Her body is hypersensitive to the very substance that her species thrives on. An irony that she personally doesn’t find amusing. AB positive being the worst of them all. An often-lethal blood type when in large doses. Either injected through feeding or needles. B positive can also be quite nasty, causing unexpected twitches and dizziness. All of which often lead to Crash passing out. Due to her terrible luck, these episodes usually happen at the worst of times.

Her illness may be one of the worst weaknesses she has, but there are also many many more. Sunlight, being the most obvious. What’s worse is Crash loved the sun in her human life. That love transferred into her vampiric life. She misses its eternal rays dearly. At times, this loss can make her feel physically sick. She’ll deprive herself of blood, blocking nourishment and making her a sluggish shadow of her former self. Not many can pull her out of this sort of deep depression, which can often lead to suicidal thoughts about the sun. Because of Crash’s love for daylight, she has made living life as a vampire ten times harder.

Crash is far from fearless, one of her many fears include lycanthropes, werewolves. Her night terrors contribute to this idiotic fear. Due to a traumatic and abusive past, the young vampire has trouble with coping in everyday life. Fear is a huge factor, ruling over most of her decisions. Another problem that has risen from her sadistic past is her addiction to sexual acts.
A sick addiction, nymphomania, gender confusion, hallucinations, all of which are results of abuse. But these are things that Crash has learned to mask, at least enough to pass as under control.

Physical Appearance: Crashista isn't one of your typical vampires when it comes to appearance. Her long, silky champagne colored tresses cascade down her slender, tan shoulders and bounce with each step she takes. Tranquil violet eyes give her that famous harmless, innocent appearance, which in some cases could have been true in the past. Her skin is unusually warm and silky, none of which you should find on a vampire. She has an hourglass frame with outlandishly long legs and widened hips. Her tiny waist is somewhat of a disadvantage, most feel as though they could snap her in half. Her height is unoriginal, standing at a simple 5'6. She has high cheekbones, slightly arched eyebrows and full lips. Crash has a naturally toned body structure due to her athleticism when once human. Genetic inheritance also plays a great role with her sharp quickness and lack of body mass. She had an incredibly fast metabolism in her mortal years, a trait Crash always particularly favored. Not an ounce was gained after her turning, but in fact lost from lack of nutrition. Vampirism has stunted her growth, mistreatment in her early years resulting in a beaten look always reflecting from her eyes. Like an abused puppy.

Crash gives off an innocent vibe in most situations. At a glimpse, Crash actually resembles more of a human than vampire. She has a certain humanness appearance to her that attracts other vampires. It also helps when hunting. But to look like a human...is like rubbing the fact that her actual species is far from mortal, in her face. She can't stand looking like something she's not. Therefore all those mixed and angered feelings cause her to withdraw from the world. Her hesitance makes Crash all the more mysterious. Others feel the need to figure her out; something that has only resulted in chaos and probably always will.

Personality: Crashista is like most when it comes to intimate emotions. She is one to be trusted, and one to be protected due to her loyalty. Her compassionate side reaches out to many for she naturally has a kind heart. But it’s growing colder as the years pass. That beautiful honesty that she once obtained has now withered due to all the times she was deceived. She's quite hopeless when it comes to surviving in the cruel world do to her medical condition. Her quick trusting ways usually prove disastrous for the young vampire, for Crash has been used one too many times. Her hideous past causes Crash to have some problems in sticking with one partner, the start to her nymphomania. She often runs from complications and is known for just disappearing for long periods of time.

Overall, Crash is a loving fledgling with hopes of finding a permanent place in someones heart, and possibly a home. Or so she used to be. After years of confusion and abandonment, Crash has lost her young charm. She’s now a hollow shell of who she once was. Cool and collected yes, but slowly dying on the inside. Her carefree attitude is a cover for what she truly feels. Just plain out lost.

History: Like many creatures roaming the dreary night, Crash had been turned by the fangs of a stranger.
While out with some friends exactly forty five years ago, Crash coincidentally ran into a mysterious man and woman with unusually pale skin and luring immortal eyes. She instantly bonded with the two for they all had a strange love for the more beautiful things in the world. They collected antique paintings from famous painters. What Crash didn't know was the two had been collecting more then just paintings. They were collecting beautiful people.

One night when Crash had just recently bought an exquisite painting, she received an unusual call from the young man she met while out with her friends. Crash didn't remember giving him her phone number, but she was intoxicated so Crash just let it slip from her mind. He told her that they had also bought a new painting and invited her over to their magnificent chateau for a viewing. Being the trusting woman Crash was, she drove to their home as soon as possible and knocked on their front door. The last thing she remembers from that night is a blinding light...then nothing.

The two mysterious new people she had befriended were famous vampires. The two spent the last century collecting beautiful pieces, along with slaves. Crash was turned soon after her arrival and woke up to only face the nasty truth. She was now owned by a sadistic couple whom loved torturing their living belongings. For years on end Crash was displayed in their chateau at parties in a lavish steal barred room, a cage in simple terms, or on a dignity-stripping leash. Her freedom was limited, and her powers never thoroughly trained. The couple did many experiments on the poor fledgling, which resulted in her blood defects.

She had been infected, malnourished, battered, raped, and highly paranoid when one of the couple's enemies attacked their home and staked the two. He was a vampire, to be more specific Emanuel Saint Varggess. Emanuel took Crash in and nurtured her back to health. He was like a young father to her, so very caring in the maternal way. Not long after Emmanuel had been caught by a slayer one night during his feeding. He was also killed, leaving Crash alone in a world she had no clue about. Most of her powers are still unknown to her due to lack of training. Now only left with a gruesome past and no contacts, Crash has nothing besides her memories. (Go Here)



Family: Callisa Marie Von E'milimmione/Bonne(Mother).-Deceased
Dutch/Danish model

Marcus Monroe Von E'milimmione(Father).- Deceased
Dutch/Italian Businessman

Angelique Mourise Von E'milimmione( Lost Sister).-Alive
Dutch/Danish/Italian slayer

Codeword: *admin approved*

RP Sample: None.

[Isi Runasimi]

FORM A

(Sorry for stretching the page =/ I have to find a new picture)


Alias: AYngel (Name origin stated in background)

Name: Angelique Mourise Von E'milimmione

Gender: Female

Orientation: Unknown

Age: 22

Species: Human, obviously

Job: Novice Hunter (Not huntress, the word “hunter” is asexual) -building a legend with new techniques

Specialties: AYngel, much to her disdain, is becoming quite the talk for other hunters; partially due to her more interesting killing techniques. Although she’s trained with the top ex hunters in hand to hand combat, mind control blockage, and several weaponry skills she still prefers not to use the more conventional of weapons. In fact, AYngel prefers not to use a so-called “weapon” at all. The only remotely dangerous thing she carries is a sleek dagger. When hunting large prey, like werewolves, occasionally AYngel will take silver handgun with silver bullets. Otherwise she is a bit more creative with her killing skills. At times she'll even use her bare hands to destroy her enemy. She uses the environment around her in other cases. Whether it be with a shovel, a stake, a piece of broken glass, sharp rocks, rusty nails, a plastic bag, or just a stray rope, AYngel can get the job done without fancy high-tech machinery. She may be good with a sword, great with a gun, and fantastic with a bow and arrow but AYngel is more of the sadistic type. The deaths caused by her are a little more twisted looking. In one case she cut out a vampire's tongue and made him choke on it. Afterwards she cut him open with a pop bottle and fed his insides to feral dogs. Yes, sadistic indeed.

Another advantage she has over most is her abnormal flexibility. This is a trait that comes naturally for her. No amount of training is needed to keep her agility to move swiftly and gracefully, limber as one could possibly be. She uses this gift to its full potential, often toying with her “prey” by disappearing into the shadows like the very vampiric species she hunts. This trick can confuse others, causing AYngel to appear as mystical as an immortal. She’s unusually quick, which aids in her agile movement. Some actually say AYngel has the ability to play with time. Her speed is so shockingly eerie that others believe she isn’t quick at all, but just magic. But there’s no such thing as magic in AYngel’s mind…only precision…perfection.

Weakness: Although the young hunter is favorably quick, her strength is something very unfavorable. She may be impressively toned for her body structure but due to her lack of body mass, AYngel is considered too petite to do any real damage (as long as you stay away from her left fist that is). Her temper is explosive and often contagious, once she’s angered there’s no turning back. Even if that means death: Whether it’s for her enemy or herself, it doesn’t matter. She has a certain death wish anyway. AYngel is also quick to blame others for the slightest mess up. The young hunter is a very accusing person when it comes to any slightest problem, as long as those problems aren’t her own. If they’re hers, she knows for a fact that they’re her burdens to bare. But sometimes those little demons build up and become too much. In those cases, AYngel goes on overload and often becomes blindsided with mental rage. A killing spree is the result, leaving many innocents killed. For this, she herself is also hunted. AYngel has more enemies than shoes, which is quuuiitte a large number. If they don’t want to kill her for the deaths of those lost, they want to kill her for the fame. Overall AYngel is just the kind of person others love to hate.

At an early age, it was apparent that AYngel inherited the Emil curse. Terribly sensitive skin, enough to where the simplest of substances could render her unconscious or impaired of clear thinking. Cotton, sulfur, and latex are extremely painful to AYngel when in too close proximity. They seem to also mess with her senses, dulling them to the point of exhausting and confusion. Another inherited trait that AYngel is cursed with, along with her sister Crash, is Nymphomania. Although the disorder is said to not be passed down through heredity, it seems that this little fact it obsolete for the Emil family. AYngel may only have a mild case, but she still has to carry the burden with her in everyday life.

Physical Appearance: Angelique, most commonly know as 'AYngel' is one of those infamous bad girl types. Her hair color is almost constantly changing along with her new styles of clothing, although she’s usually known to be a blonde, her natural color. Her eyes continuously jump from one color to the next due to a strange trait she inherited from her father. Silver is the dominant hue, but blue and easily take a close second. When she’s in immense pain or on the brink of death, her eyes actually form a vibrant violet. This is very uncommon and sited by only one other person, an old friend of hers that died in a fire almost ten years ago. Violet is a very emotional color for her, because it’s the color of her sister’s eyes. Crash, the infamous young vampire that AYngel has been tracking since the start of her career.

Her wardrobe varies from day to day and day to night, depending on her mood or the more human of things like weather. When she’s hunting, AYngel often wears the obvious unoriginal black attire. Tight, form fitting, sleek, professional. But during the day, she resembles an artistic girl with a dirty punk streak. Her hair is most of the time classified as sex hair, wild and wavy but with complimenting attributes. Her teeth are pearly white thanks to being close friends with a dentist, free whitening of course. She’s taken a liking to heels, whether they are boots or stilettos, AYngel as even learned to fight and hunt in them. Two words that are often used to describe AYngel are “spontaneous” and “wild”. The young hunter has a very eccentric vibe to her, often connected to mysteriousness. But she constantly claims that her Emil blood is the cause. Another reason why Crash and AYngel resemble each other so strangely even if they’ve never met. Both have that cool and enigmatic feel to them.

AYngel also has multiple piercings that appear all over her well-toned body, some in places one should not speak of formally. She’s constantly foretold as an illiterate high school drop out/drug addict with the need for the party life and a fast car. The truth is, her appearance if very deceiving. With just a few more dirty tattoos and a bit more make up, you'll have AYngel in a pinch.

Personality: Take a rabid raccoon and a frightened bunny and stick them in a room together, that's exactly what AYngel is. Her emotions run just as wild as her ex boyfriend did at a rock concert with his crack addict buddies. She's constantly finding a new place to live since her apartment was evicted, and her friends are just as crazy. With that spontaneity she’s known for, AYngel can often rub off as a little insane. She can never find that matching sock, so AYngel’s always running around with two different pairs, metaphorically and literally of course. Although AYngel keeps her personal life from her professional life, the two often collide. The main result? Disaster in most cases. She doesn’t always want to come off as intimidating, but no matter what she just does. AYngel has a certain toughness to her that she can’t get rid of. Her stubborn attitude is also quite known along with her name. She could very well be one of the more stubborn people to walk the streets.

Her love for heavy metal and guns (used for play, not hunting) will probably be the only thing she has, since AYngel has made a pact to herself that she will never fall for another living thing. Her temper is just as bad as her quick wit and bad mouth, unstoppable. Overall, AYngel is just too hard to describe. What is known for sure is she'll always have the last word, and the last punch. It's her motto and her life.

History: (See Crash's History)
AYngel is the daughter of Callisa Marie Von E'milimmione and Marcus Monroe Von E'milimmione. After the disappearance of her long lost sister, the older couple decided that another child was to be replaced in Crash's absence. Her parents were murdered not soon after her birth by the vampires that took her older sister. A young nanny that was watching the infant child AYngel the night of the massacre escaped from the house after hearing the screams of the couple being murdered in their bed. The nanny hid AYngel for several years before coming out into public as an abandon orphan. The nanny left her to an orphanage where she was soon moved to a quaint little foster home. But over the years she was constantly moved from home to home due to the lack of anyone wanting to take care of such a stubborn and wild kid. That and she was riddled with nightmares and night terrors, flashes of horrific scenes which caused AYngel to push herself away from the world and anyone relatively close to her. She always wondered if her unknown past had anything to do with it.

The only evidence that she was related to the Von E'milimmione bloodline was lost until her sixteenth birthday. That was the day she received a strange phone call telling her everything, including the reappearance of her last blood relative, Crash. Of course not soon after Crash had appeared, she was untraceable once again. AYngel dedicated her whole life to training in hopes of finding Crash and killing the vampires that murdered her parents.
She contacted a famous ex hunter that agreed to teach her everything he knew.

Over the next six years she learned quickly and began to contact other ex hunters for their help. Soon, she gathered an unimaginable amount of information that even at her young age and experience was unbelievable. She trained hard, her goal to finally meet Crash and to get revenge on the vampires that ruined everything. Her mysterious past fueled her in trained and gave her the push she needed to stretch her limits to the maximum. For the longest time AYngel had absolutely no clue the same vampires that killed her parents were the ones that took Crash. She also had no clue that they were already dead. Until one night she ran into a vampire while hunting. Emmanuel St. Vargess, the very vampire that nurtured Crash back to health. He told her what her sister was, the very species she hunted. Out of rage, she attacked Emmanuel and killed him.

Her lust for death is still fueled on revenge; her only hope is in finding her last relative...

History of alias: AYngel

While applying for a job around the age of eighteen, AYngel typed up a nice little résumé. She made the mistake of not double checking her spelling. The next day, when she was reviewing the paper with her soon-to-be boss, he commented on the strange and unique spelling of her name. At first, AYngel was confused but she played off like she knew what he was talking about. When she started working at the café, soon, all of her other employees also started to compliment her name. After a while- AYngel just went with it. Nothing dramatic, but just a little embarrassing. One day, one of her trainers came to visit her at her work. He spied a receipt with the name on it and instantly told her that she should stick with the name as a code for her hunting. Just a little typo was the start of AYngel’s famous alias.

[/b][/i]


Family: Callisa Marie Von E'milimmione/Bonne(Mother).-Deceased
Dutch/Danish model

Marcus Monroe Von E'milimmione(Father).- Deceased
Dutch/Italian Businessman

Crashista Marie Von E'milimmione(Sister).-Vampire
Dutch/Danish/Italian vampire legend

Codeword: *admin approved*

RP Sample: NONE[/size][/center]

[Isi Runasimi]

.::Flash Back::.


"Of all our beautiful slaves my dear, you are the loveliest." He spoke softly, yet it sounded so very harsh to her newly acquainted sense of hearing. She winced, pulling away from his touch as he ran is finger down her bare arm. A deep sigh protruded from his lips, ever so calmly rising from his seat next to the bed. Her eyes fluttered slightly, radiant violet orbs peering wondrously around the tiny room. She gave a small gasp, blinking in an unbelievable manner. The room was pitch black, not one window, lamp, candle, or flicker of light anywhere yet she could see as if the sun were shining upon the room. Her senses were bountifully sharp, every little detail of the room enhanced by her pretty eyes. She could hear nothing but the soft shuffle of clothing as the man before her moved over to the other side of the bed. The walls must have been sound proof. She wasn't sure how she knew that, it was like a sixth sense. Pure intelligence that she had never acquired before.

"Do you like it?" His voice seemed to echo off the enclosed dark walls, making her cringe once more. Her head was pounding rhythmically like the pattern of a heart, yet no sound was coming from her chest. Her eyes gave a panicked look as the young woman sat up quickly only to receive a push from the man. "Stay down, you must rest." He whispered while leaning into her ear, his muscular hand resting on her arm. It was freezing, causing more shivers to run down her spine.

"Y-you turned me." She whispered roughly, it felt as though she hadn't spoken in days. Her thirst was terrible, it was like her throat was stuffed with cotton and she needed something to wash it down before she suffocated. "Yes." He purred, now moving away from her and facing the wall, arms crossing behind him. "I had to. You were almost dead." The newly turned vampire glared daggers into his back, her eyes now full of pure hatred. "It was your fault I almost died! You...you bled me! You and your wretched wife!" She screamed while sitting up. Suddenly she grabbed her head, eyes rolled in the back of their sockets as her body slumped back into the pillows. "I told you to stay down." He whispered. The young vampire gave a small whimper, hands covering her burning eyes.

"You're still in the process of being turned. Your body is not used to the change. It's death. He's knocking on your door but you my dear will not answer." His voice, it was like knives cutting at her ears. So very seductive, yet painful at the same time. "Why are you experimenting on us?" She whispered, champagne curls ringing out along her innocent face which was still being held by her soft hands. "To find a cure for this...disease. To make you stronger, faster, better then before. Soon, we will discover a way to walk in the sun among those putrid creatures we call humans. We will rule my dear. Rule over what is rightfully ours." He said, his voice becoming stronger with each passing second. His fists clenched, the woman able to see his anger without even peering into his eyes.

"W-will you use me again?" She whispered, almost in a pleading manner. She didn't want to go through anymore pain. It was worse then dead, and now it may be impossible to kill herself. "Yes. We will. You are in fact my favorite. Your screams, they are like bells to my ears." The woman looked shocked, eyes wide with terror. "You monster!" She screamed, fighting the urge to crumble into the pillows once again. With all her might, the young vampire pulled herself toward the only door in the room. Her feet came in contact with the stone floor and her knees instantly buckled beneath her. She fell to the ground but continued crawling until she reached the knob. The young vampire threw herself out, hands scraping against the cool floor as she continued to crawl down the hallway.

Then, she could hear his laughs. The were or pure evil, echoing off the walls as if taunting her into insanity. Her hand pushed into the dark painted walls, trying to steady herself. She stood, head instantly feeling as though it were about to explode. Her cries could probably be heard through out the house as the young vampire willed herself to use her broken legs. Yes, they were broken. The man in the room had snapped them when she was changing. He knew she would run. It was Crashista, his favorite little toy. He knew everything about her. His little fascination.

Crash continued to take wobbly steps, trying to block out the awful sounds of crunching and cracking in her legs. Maybe, just maybe if she could make it to the door she could get help. It was a stupid little hope but somehow she just had to try. Crash rounded the corner, coming in contact with just a wall. "What?" She screamed in a mixture of confusion and pain. That's when it hit her. The house itself was against her. Some sort of maze her master had set up. They loved playing with their slaves.

Crash crumbled to the floor in a heap of blood tears, her tiny white night gown now soaked in mixture of blood from her old wounds reopening and her unstoppable flow of the moisture running down her beautiful face. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps came to her ears. They were coming this way, and the way they sounded the person was content on getting somewhere...or to someone. Crash wearily turned her head to come in contact with a metal object. A sudden 'thud' came pounding against the walls as her lifeless body fell to the floor, joined with the little pile of blood she was making. Her violet eyes were still open, trying to keep from closing. Through her blurred vision, she could only see her master holding a metal bat in his hands, a sadistic smirk vacating his thin lips. She gave another whimper before everything went black. The start of her vampiric life was a nightmare, one that felt like it would never end.


.::End Flashback::.

Yes, Julien Lafay was my master. Along with his gruesome wife Callisa Lafay. They are dead now, but their faces still haunt my hideous dreams. Every night I'm once again visited by the ever occurring pain of the memories I hold with them. They used me in every way possible, my blood, my body, my life. I was kept in a cell when they felt the need to punish me. Not one blanket or pillow. No food for days after days. Blood was scarce, so my body became accustomed to the malnourished feeling I was constantly put through. The worst part was the experiments. They injected chemicals into my veins, my arteries, my brain, my dead heart, even my lungs. Needles constantly pricking my skin. Knives cutting into me, dragging along with them salt just to drive screams from my lips.

I hadn't even looked at a mirror in years, it was forbidden. Sometimes when they had parties they dressed my up in frilly dresses to hide the bruises and cuts that they poured chemicals on to keep from healing, and stuffed me in a cage for entertainment. Then, I was poked and prodded by their sick friends. Their laughs still ring in my ears to this day. Emanuel says I resemble a beaten puppy now, but that's just how I always looked. It must be the strange eyes, so big and pleading. I know the pain shines through them like reflections of my past.

Why do I even bother writing this down? Just to be sent into a fury of other memories? Maybe it will help, that is what Emanuel says. He said it helped him. From what I know, Emanuel was also a slave to the Lafays. Long ago, before I was even born. He told me that they also used him for experiments. They did the opposite for him then for me. They actually worked. Emanuel had gained the strength of six vampires, the swift movement of three and the power of two elders put into one. He was a wonder himself, and very few still know about him.

Apparently he used his strength to escape the clutches of the Lafays, but he wasn't able to save his daughter. Yes, Emanuel had a daughter. She was only six years old when the Lafays took her and her father. I know he has nightmares like me, he wakes up screaming her name. "Alexis, No!" He'll plead, his once strong eyes now crumbling with pain. I think I remind him of his daughter. That was the only reason he spared my life that night.

The night the Lafay mansion burned to the ground along with all of the deformed, mentally insane, ruined slaves they owned. I can still feel the warmth of the flames as Emanuel pushed me through the tiny window of the dungeon, still grumbling about how stupid it was taking me. I was in the greatest shape, even though I looked near comatose. Julien kept me alive and in one piece because of his fascination. I still have no clue why. There were other slave girls, every single one gorgeous. They were addicted to unique, beautiful masterpieces in the world. I was victim because of my violet eyes, and champagne hair. "Such different beauty!" Their friends would coo while running their rough fingers along my locks.

God, I hated them. I was treated like a doll, thrown around when ever possible. No words can describe the hatred I have for them. The pain I was forced to endure over my vampiric years. I still feel weak and vulnerable, unable to protect myself from the hands of danger. Maybe one day I'll be able to let go of my grudge. To finally release myself from the grasp of fear that somehow they'll rise from their ashes and torture me again. I pray it come sooner then later. I only live for so long and It seems that it took Emanuel a hundred years just to rid himself from the tremors of speaking their names.

Please, if there is a god out there...Think back to when I was human. I went to church, I was a good girl! I listened to my parents, never did hang with the bad group. No drugs, no drinking...why me? Please God, hear me out. I may be the daughter of a terrible devil now, and your eternal light may never shine on me...rid of my pain! I'd do anything to forget the past.
Anything.
I wish that Emanuel would also erase his memories. The thought of his daughter must be like a stab in the back. He couldn't protect her and now she is gone. Forever lost in the ashes of the once glorified Lafay mansion.
Yes, anything.
I would give up anything to leave this life, and live one of happiness.
Anything.

[Isi Runasimi]

.::Flash Back::.

The room was stark, damp, and so very cold. The metal table beneath her was hard and held no comfort what so ever. She pulled against her binds, wrists thrashing against the leather clad strips nailed to the side. Her eyes were heavy, the dried tears now crusted down her pale face. They felt as though some invisible pressure was against them, keeping her from facing reality. They were at it again, more experiments...more pain. The torture was unbearable, it made her feel numb and used all over again...and again. Her champagne locks were matted and dirty, dulled from lack of nutrients. All she wanted was a glass of water! Crash pleaded the guards, asking them to give her some form of liquid to calm her dry throat. They only laughed at her and kicked at her bars of the cell. They told Julien she was acting up, trying to escape again. It was a mere lie, the poor thing hadn't even thought of escape in fear of being sent to the very room she was lying in now.

A cough erupted from within her burning throat, sounding off the plain metal walls. The vibrations slammed against something hard, foreign to the room. That's how she knew he was there with her. Almost like sonar, the young vampire learned to use sound waves when she couldn't see. A little trick she taught herself, one which no one would ever know about. Her eyes finally fluttered open, ready to take on the pain yet to come. "I know you're there." She whispered in a harsh, breathless tone. Her eyes blinked, staring aimlessly at the plain ceiling. She didn't want to see his face, the look of pure malice in his hypnotizing black eyes.

"As I know, you know I'm there." He said in a bored manner, once again playing at his riddles. Crash continued her stare toward the ceiling when she heard his footsteps echoing off the tile floor. Suddenly, the blinding light was turned on, Crash hissing and once gain trying to cover her eyes. Julien chuckled, his hands now running up her bare stomach. The old wounds were reopening due to his rough touch yet she didn't wince. Crash would refuse to give him the pleasure of her pain. He gave a small growl, right hand reaching to the side of the table where he kept his knives. His hand lingered over the clean utensils, then a wicked smile formed on his lips. His hand then hovered over the the dirty side, already used knives now crusted with other vampire's blood. Crash knew that many of the others had formed diseases like her from the chemical treatment. She whimpered her head now shaking furiously.

"No! Please, not that. please..." She begged, new tears sprouting from her violet eyes. Julien's smile only grew to an evil smirk, his sickening gaze running down her body. He then picked up one of the dirty knives, the gleam of the old yet wet blood sending shivers down her spine. He then dug the blade into her arm, her screams becoming louder with each thrust. He cut down her arm in deep, gagged gashes. Her head lolled to the side, feeling as though she couldn't take anymore pain. That is, until he jammed the knife into her stomach and twisted it, an even louder scream piercing the silence of the sound proof walls.

"That's it my love, scream for me. You know how I love it. "He purred while leaning down to whisper in her ear. He then kissed her cheek, his tongue running up her cheek and lapping up her blood tears. She shivered, teeth clattering with pain and fear. He twisted the knife once more, a breathless yelp pressing from her lips. Julien growled wanting to hear more. He wanted her to scream louder! With one quick sweep, Julien removed the knife from her stomach and threw it into the wall behind him. He grabbed her leather bound wrist roughly and undid the latch, freeing it from the bind. He then brought his lips to it, his eyes lingering over to watch her with curiosity. A look of pure horror shone in her lovely eyes, tears still falling. He then bit down, sighing in ecstasy when he heard her screams once again.

Julien drank from her until her tears stopped falling, until her eyes fluttered closed and he could no longer hear her screams. He then let her arm drop to the side while making his way to the cabinet. The chemicals were stored there, needles too. He took out a slightly older bottle, dust collecting on the top. His eyes scanned the label before smiling. Julien reached for an old rag while popping the cork from the bottle and pouring the substance on the rag. He put the bottle back and returned to the unmoving Crash. Her wounds were healing, slower then usual but still too fast for his taste. He brought the rag to her stomach, smearing the blood and the black substance now seeping into her skin.

Her eyes snapped open, back arching in pain as she bit her lip to keep from screaming. The liquid seemed to crawl along her skin, searching for an entrance. She began to thrash on the table, head moving from side to side and shaking. Just another seizure of course, Julien loved it when Crash shook with pain. Her wounds slowed healing completely as she continued to fight against her binds. Julien only watched with amusement, tongue running along his fangs, savoring her taste on his lips while grabbing her free hand and wrapping the leather around her wrist once more. He then walked to the only door in the room while flicking off the light, bathing Crash in darkness as her figure continued to crack, shake and thrash against the table. He closed the door when hearing yet another scream rise from within her. Another day of torture, another memory to hold within her scars. It was hard to believe that Julien was only at the start, she would be getting much worse later.
Much much worse.

.::End Flash Back::.

[/size][/center]

[Isi Runasimi]

He still hasn't returned.
It's been a week since he left, soon to be a week and one day.
I feel like pulling the heavy blinds away from the windows, as insane as it sounds. To bask in the sunlight if only for a minute. My skin is crawling with the need to feel it's warmth. So many years in the darkness and I still can't get the memory of it's eternal light out of my head. Ever since he left it has gotten worse. I fear that it may be loneliness causing this feeling of light suicide. Tonight I'm going to have to board the windows. Maybe if I possibly do go insane and rip the blinds from the walls, then I'll be safe from the rays.

I find myself whispering his name like a lost little girl, wondering where her father went in a crowd of strangers. Somehow, I know he's dead. I could feel it that night. His face was even paler then usual. Like a foreshadow of what was to come. There has been an unexpected boom of hunters ravaging the city, searching for us creatures. He couldn't hide for much longer. His name was becoming the main talk of the night. Such power, strength. How did he come to be? Well, I am probably the only one who withholds the truth.

Emanuel Saint Varggess is dead, along with my only hope of living. He was my savior, my mentor, my glint of happiness. I am nothing without him. Only the last of the Lafay slaves. Still so very weak, nothing that could survive in this century. Emanuel's supply of blood will soon run out, what will I do then? Steal from the hospital and in a way take the lives of other weaklings? What am I to do? I have no one to turn to. I know not a soul besides the long dead. I refuse to ask for help of a stranger in pride and fear. What if they hurt me? What if they look down on me as scum because I can't take care of myself? Such terrible thoughts are always running through my head, adding to the memories I wish to forget.

Sometimes at night I will suddenly awaken from a sound sleep, their voices whispering in my ears. They tell me they're coming for me. They will rise from the ashes and tie me to the table once again. The cell in which I was held is gone, shouldn't those memories pass with it? No, of course not because I'm still here. Alive, yet not in a sense of 'human' alive. I'm much more living then Julien though. The simple pleasures I was just begining to like are now vanishing right in front of me. I used to enjoy painting but now every time I pick up a brush, my mind is flooded with gruesome visions that it would love to bring to life on the canvas.

One time I caught myself painting Callisa's face, her infamous smirk replaced with a look of terror as blood ran from her cracked red lips. I slammed my brush through the canvas and crumbled to the floor in a heap of fury and fear. The blood now tastes like the chemicals they force fed me, silk fabric resembling the cold metal I had once been accustomed to. Now that Emanuel is gone, my fears are showing themselves once again.

I remember the night when he brought me to a park, the cool of the night sending shivers down my spine. It must of been pretty cold to effect a vampire. Emanuel gave me a warm smile and draped his large coat over my shoulders. We walked and talked, until a swing set caught my eye. When I was little I used to love swinging in the park, my best friend Jack would always push me too high and I'd end up crying. It made me laugh to think about how long ago that was. Emanuel saw the look in my eyes and insisted that we sit in the swings. We ended up just softly swinging all night, talking about our past lives to each other.

We were all we had. What an odd pair, no? I loved him like a father, and in return he loved me like a daughter. Now that love is gone and I'm once again doomed to live a life of loneliness. Not one acquaintance to talk to. Just a stranger in a bar, or the old lady who watered her flowers at night. What a life, no? Just maybe, I'll find somebody once again. It doesn't matter how we meet, as long as I'm not alone anymore. Someday...I'll wait for that someday. Until then, these nightmares and memories are all I have.

[Isi Runasimi]

.::Flash Back::.

Her soft touch was so foreign to Crash, gentle and with slight care. The total opposite to what she had been put through over the years. The Lafays were holding a dinner party, it would be the first time that she was to attend with them. Currently Crash was located in Callisa Lafay's porcelain tub, Callisa herself knelt over the side and scrubbing her dulled hair. She was being so gentle with her, as if trying to calm her and keep the wounds on her body from reopening.

It was so confusing, suddenly Crash thought this was all just a dream. Not once had she seen the caring side of Callisa, well at least directed toward her. Her hand lowered slightly, brushing against Crash's bruised cheek. She winced, instantly pulling away in fear of being striked. "Stay still my dear, or this will take forever!" Callisa barked, sounding slightly annoyed but excited all the same. It was obvious that these parties brought joy to the social vampire.

Callisa ran the cloth down her arm, avoiding any open wounds. The water was washing away the caked on blood and chemicals, most gashes starting to heal instantly. Her champagne locks were beginning to shine once more, and her soft skin was finally free from the disgusting grime. A few bubbles rose from the water when Crash sighed, brushing against her nose lightly. She blinked, violet eyes resembling a curious child. Suddenly, Crash sneezed in a cute manner, causing Callisa to chuckle in a motherly way.

She felt a little strange sharing this moment with her master, Callisa had only shown her kindness today. It was as if some unknown force had possessed the once sadistic woman and brought out the best in her. It must have been the party, and for that Crash was grateful she would be attending. "All right, up!" Callisa commanded while rising herself and grabbing a plush purple towel from the counter behind her. She held it out, and Crash instantly obeyed by standing from the now red tinted water and stepping into the towel. Callisa wrapped it around her and gave a smile, rubbing her shoulders slightly when Crash shivered.

"Now come, we'll pick out your dress." Callisa spoke with such excitement, it even made Crash a little joyous. She led the soaked young vampire out of the bathroom and into a bedroom, the walls, furniture, even the wall paper was lavish and just screamed of wealth. Callisa directed her to the bed and made Crash sit, herself rushing over to the wardrobe and pulling out handfuls of beautiful dresses. Something inside of Crash ignited, that little something she thought was impossible to believe. Maybe, just maybe the Lafays would stop torturing her after tonight. A tiny sliver of hope...just maybe she could live happily.

.::End Flash Back::.

That was the only time I had ever seen kindness from Callisa Lafay. It was the last time she would call me 'dear', also. So strange, as if the evil woman actually had maternal feelings for me. Maybe she did, but she had a horrible way of showing it. Once, before the death of Emanuel, I asked him if he knew any information of the Lafays before their turning. He knew everything, due to careful research he had gathered once escaping their lethal grasp.

Apparently the two were happily married and lived in the beautiful chateau even before their vampiric lives. Both happily sadistic, also. They were known for their cold attitudes toward those of lower status. They even had a child. A little boy. Emanuel told me that Julien wanted a boy, a strong child to bequeath their riches to. Callisa on the other hand wanted a little girl. A young child whom she could dress in frilly, expensive dresses, spoil with glass dolls, pretty shoes, and all the attention she could ever possibly want. Instead she received a boy, one that looked nothing like herself.

She avoided the child like the plague, demanding that the maids take care of him. Julien was angered that his own wife didn't love their child, but nothing could stop his love for her. One night Callisa came upon her little boy, he had stumbled into her room when his baseball rolled under her bed, The boy knocked over one of her antique vases, shattering it on the stone floor. She went into a blind fury and...
Killed the child.
She killed her own flesh and blood, the little boy she herself had brought into the world. Callisa felt no remorse, only the slight satisfaction that she finally rid of a nuisance in her eyes. In fear of angering Julien, she told him their son fell from the balcony, snapping his neck and instantly dying from impact. She ordered her maids to pick up the mess and make it look like she described, then threatened them all to keep the death a secret. One maid had slipped to Emanuel of the incident when he came to her for information. Somehow, this explained why Callisa had such an attachment to the thought of having me around. She wanted a daughter and in her sick and twisted mind she had finally received one.

I can still hear her hypocritical voice harking at me, telling me that my attitude was one of disgrace. That night at the party was a disaster, one that forced me to learn a valuable lesson. I could never trust a Lafay.

.::Flash Back::.

"She's so beautiful!" The vampire woman cooed, her wiry fingers running through Crash's now soft locks, eyes burning into her own violet ones. Many other vampire women surrounded them, shaking their heads quickly in agreement. "Look at those eyes!" Another younger one exclaimed while pressing her pale hands into Crash's and staring deeply at her in wonder. Crash fidgeted in the chair, her eyes occasionally darting around the room in pure anxiety.

Most of the people were merrily drinking their deep wine, drunkenly falling over one another while exchanging conversations. Others became a little more intimate, disappearing from within the shadows of the chateau. About seven vampire women were gathered around her, petting her hair and caressing her soft skin that was exposed from the rather uncomfortable tiny dress. They went on, as if she were some toy, a precious new doll they all wanted to play with.

Callisa sat pridefully next to her, taking the compliments as if they were her own. Crash eyed her posture, so gallant, so very egotistical. She sure did act like she owned Crash. "Are you willing to sell her? I'd pay an awful lot for one like this." One of the women spoke up. She was wearing a bit too much lipstick and her dress was even more revealing then Crash's. She gave the vampire a disgusted look, is this what women were wearing these days? The fashion had sure gone to total hell.

The other woman started to speak up, telling Callisa that they would love to own Crash if she were willing to sell her. Some started arguing with each other, claiming that they should be the rightful owners. Crash went wide eyed, unsure of what to do. Callisa hissed, baring her fangs at the quarreling women. "Silence! The girl is mine! I would never sell her to the likes of you!" Callisa growled, rising from her seat and grabbing the leash that was attached to Crash's collar. "Now if you'll excuse me, we will be retiring to our rooms now." Callisa said, ignoring the pleas of the women.

She pulled roughly on Crash's leash, sending her into a coughing fit as she struggled to stand from the chair and follow after her. Some of the women held onto her dress, eyes saddened by the fact that their new toy was being taken away from them. Crash just pulled herself from their grasp and tried desperately to keep up with Callisa in fear of being choked. "Now look what you made me do." She suddenly spoke up while moving down the corridors quickly. Crash knew she was heading to the dungeon by her direction. She instantly whimpered, her hopes of kindness now crushed.

"You and your pitiful violet eyes are the cause of this. I'll never hear the end of their stupid pleas to have you!" Callisa whipped around, eyes burning with the anger she was feeling. Crash only lowered her head in knowledge of what was to come. Callisa pushed the wooden door open and practically sent Crash tumbling down the stairs and past the many guards. She walked along the barred doors, passing Crash's usual one. Her body tensed, what was this hellish woman up to? Callisa stopped in front of a rather large barred door, the hinges shaped in an odd angle. As if the cell was to hold something large.

She unlatched the leash from Crash's neck, then opened the door to only reveal darkness. She couldn't tell whether the room was just unbelievably large or the walls were black. Callisa shoved Crash into the room and slammed the door shut, leaving her to figure it out soon enough. Crash gave a confused stare, her eyes directed to the door she had just came through. Then, a treacherous growl rang through the silence. She subconsciously gulped, head slowly turning to face around nine huge, furry figures. "Werewolves." Crash whispered before they all came slamming down upon her tiny frame.

.::End Flash Back::.

They had literally town me apart, sending my body into convulsions from blood loss, missing chunks of flesh and shattered bones. Not even the strongest of vampires could heal from that over night. The werewolves continued to tear at me, merciless of the fact that I was being eaten alive. They had been deprived of food, water, and blood. The source of their lack on control. I will never blame them for what they did. Starved and neglected, who wouldn't resist at jumping on an unprotected piece of meat? Even with that in mind, I'm still deathly afraid of werewolves. Just the site of one now sends me into an inferno of memories.

Callisa used others to do her dirty work. She didn't cut at me like her husband, no. She did much worse. Since the vampire was unable to hurt me physically due to her want of having a daughter, she sent others that held no mercy. Savage beasts who had no will to stop. Just writing the word 'werewolf' sends shivers down my spine. It was a miracle I survived that night, one of which I sometimes think should have never happened. Those werewolves were suppose to kill me. They were suppose to free me from the life I was through with enduring. If this is the doing of God, then he must love dramatic irony. The sick bastard must love torturing me just as much as Julien himself. Why won't this ever lasting pain just stop? Even after years of freedom, I'm still enslaved to my memories. Oh cruel irony, leave me be. Death is looking better with each passing sunless day. When will it end? Never...that must be the answer.
Never.

[Isi Runasimi]

.::Flash Back::.


"Burn him." Julien growled viciously, while cradling his hand to his chest. She could already spy the blood soaking through the material of Julien's shirt as he tried desperately to hide the gruesome mangled flesh he once called his fist. Her eyes held no compassion toward her beaten master, only utter satisfaction. Yet, when he dared to speak those two sickly words Crash fell into another lapse of furry and lunged herself at the bloody man in front of her. Julien grew startled for a moment and stepped back just in time before three guards caught a hold of Crash's fists and rammed the hilt of one of their guns across her already bruised cheek. She made not a sound as her head hung low with defeat, too exhausted to fight anymore, yet too prideful to let them hear her whimper in pain. Julien only let out an amused chuckle while turning away from his beloved pet to watch as six other guards bound and clattered from the steal cage placed outside of the mansion. Four of the six were struggling with the chains that wrapped about the large figure's body, while the other two held strange whips and not once winced when the clad leather scraped across the figure's skin and tore large gashes across his muscular body. He howled in pain while snapping his snarling jaws at the guards and trying desperately to swipe one with his huge paw. Crash only turned her battered head away from the site, tears welling up in her violet eyes and streaking her dirtied yet still wondrously beautiful face.

She finally brought her eyes to the scene once more, anger bubbling from within her insides. "You touch him one more time and I kill you!" She screamed, her usually charmingly sweet voice now frighteningly low and demonic. Julien only laughed, and laughed...and well laughed some more. Apparently Crash was no threat to himself and his sadistic workers. Her violet eyes tinged blood red, teeth elongating fully and gleaming in the bright moonlight. At that, the guards also started to laugh while pointing at her and slamming their fists into her ribs and stomach. She let out a cry of pain and fell her knees while trying to shield herself from the ruthless vampires surrounding her.

Suddenly, A sharp scream of terror sliced through the silence like a sharp dagger as everyone instantly stopped their torture on the young girl to turn and see one of the guards, their friend in the jaws of the beast snarling and ripping at his intestines. The three guards left struggled with their chains as the werewolf tried to shake free of his binds. "Stop him!" Julien snapped while running over to one cowering guard and ripping the whip from his hands as he sliced into the werewolf's face with the spiked leather. The other three guards who were holding the nearly unconscious Crash watched with wonder and fear.

Crash let out a ragged breath as more blood seeped from her mouth to leave a trail of sickening fluids on the rocky floor. Her eyes slowly came to watch as the werewolf howled once more before finally collapsing in a heap of blood and fur. She let out a shriek of lost hope while pulling forward only to be slapped by one of the guards again. Her head flew to the side, as more blood poured from the corners of her lips. "S-stop!" She screamed with her last breath while turning to stare at the nearly dead creature still howling with pain. He stared deeply into her eyes, his chocolaty ones fading with his life. She whimpered, while one of the guards wrapped their hand around her tiny waist to haul her to her feet. As soon as she was standing, Crash let out a snarl while slamming her elbow into one of the guards chests to hear a sickening pop. She retched herself from their grasp and ran to the lone wolf panting and trying to shield his face with is huge paw as Julien continued to whip him. She rammed her fist straight into his back, catching Julien off guard and causing him to fall forward in shock. She ran past him and went straight her her beloved friend, Darren. He whimpered softly as she fell to her knees in front of his large frame. Crash brought her soft hands to his cheeks while she kissed his wet nose with worry. Her hands wrapped around his furry neck as she snuggled into the bloody fur that covered his body. Darren brought his paw to her back gently and whimpered into her hair, body shaking from blood loss. Not one of the guards stopped her, in shock of what just happened.

Crash suddenly shrieked as she was pried away from Darren by her hair. Julien glared daggers at the two, ultimate jealously clearly apparent in his cold eyes. He threw Crash to the side like a rag doll and charged at the large wolf still whimpering in front of him. Julien pulled out a dagger and plunged it into the wolf's heart, Crash's screams now vibrating off of the large mansion walls and probably heard for miles.

She watched with disbelief as Darren's eyes finally became glassy as his head collapsed on his paws. The vampire shook with pain, her sobs now racking through her like waves on the ocean she once loved. He was gone. Forever. And it was all because of her.

.::End Flash Back::.

Why did I ask him to help me escape? If I just left him alone in the first place he wouldn't of died that night. Darren, my best friend would still be smiling to this day. His puppy like eyes were like small glimpses of hope back then. That is, until Julien killed him. If I would have just left him alone that night when they stuffed me in his cell then just maybe, he would have made it. But no, I am the reason for his death. It may have been by Julien's hand, but it was by my order that he killed those guards so I could make a run into the forest when Julien let me out for a small walk. I am a murderer. And for that I must suffer.

It was only last night when my mind revisited those locked away memories. I think I blocked them out subconsciously at one point when I was under the watchful eyes of the Lafays. Many lost memories come to me now, like a sickening rerun. I never even knew they existed until they played in my mind, then after that they never stop. Just over and over again. The same mistakes beating me down every time I close my eyes.

Darren, the sweet, young Werewolf in the cell next to mine. God he was too cute to be true. Everyone loved him. We used to talk for hours on end when left alone down in the murky cells when the guards left us to be. Not many other slaves were aloud to speak to each other, much less see each other but we got around that. Plus, we both were considered favorites. During parties the Lafays often showed us off together in a cage. He was my shield for a long time now, and to believe I totally forgot about him. My mind actually blocked out every memory we shared until recently. I think it was grief. For I am the reason of his death. Just the thought of seeing such a young and innocent boy being tortured by the hands of my own problem. He was only seventeen when bitten, therefore much younger then me in many ways. I loved him. I loved him like a younger brother, a best friend, an ally in a war. But what is he now? Ashes. After his death, Julien burned his already destroyed body like he would have done if Darren were alive. He was a monster, and the site of a body burning was like pure pleasure to him. The twisted vampire was in ecstasy when watching my friend burn to ashes. He thought we were lovers, and I never denied it. Only to infuriate him more. I used to scream how Darren won my heart, and how Julien would never be apart of that. He took it personally thanks to his little infatuation. To this day I think he wanted me to love him. But, I have never loved anyone in the way he was hoping for and I highly doubt I ever will. Is there anyone out there who will hold my attention long enough to keep me enthralled? The answer is and probably always will be...no. Emanuel is gone. Darren is gone. I have no one, I never will. It is so easy to say, and write but...but to believe? I do admit that sometimes I hope that someone will come along and save me from my loneliness. Yet, no matter how hard I wish it just won't come true. Sexual desire can only go so far. Am I destined to never love? To never be loved?
Time will tell, if I can wait that long.

[Isi Runasimi]

GOD I hate werewolves. With their damned animalistic egos and huge, sickeningly furry bodies. Why can't they just leave me be? I never did anything to upset their kind, besides the betrayal of Darren. But what does that have to do with anything? Oh, werewolves, their species are so damned violent. Ripping at others like the dogs that they are. Claiming dominance over all. Okay I admit it. I'm terrified of werewolves. Ever since that one...incident long ago. Before I met...him.


I hate them! All but one. But he is gone now. Forever engraved within my thoughts and memories. Sweet Darren. Sweet, kind Darren.

You were so different from those others. You didn't attack me when deprived of food. You didn't turn on me for a scrap of meat or a good word put in to Julien. You...you loved me.

Oh I'm so sorry Darren!

I should never have gotten you involved with my escape plans. Never dragged you into such stupidity. You even tried to bite off Juilen's hand for me, when he went out to strike my cheek. How can I ever forgive myself? After your death, you know things changed drastically at the Lafay manor. Everything became harder for not only me, but every slave the Lafays owned. Punishment to all for one beast's outbreak. Contstant torture, even more than usual! I wanted to die. I wanted to be the one burning within the flames. Not your body. Not you. Not beautiful boy Darren. No. If I died, I sometimes think it would have been for the better. Since there is still nothing for me to live for. Emanuel is dead. You're dead. My family is dead. The only reason I'm still on this god forsaken earth is because there is this...unwanted hopeful flame burning in my insides. Certain instincts telling me that I need to keep living. I have been giving no reasons though. It's even hard to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Eat, sleep, drink, sex, they all just mesh together to make one big blur. Here and there, I can remember there are a few exceptions but it's not like they matter much in the long run. The lovers, they don't stay for long. Whether it be I drive them away intentionally, or my enigmatic ways cause them to feel neglected and unneeded...they always leave. I attract, but apparently I'm just too much to handle. Well, personally I take it as I'm just not worth the try. Why can't they be like you Darren? So caring, so understanding. No. Why can't I be like my old self before the destruction of my innocence? Why can't I go back to mortality? When I was normal. Well, human normal that is. Back to when life was simple and loneliness was something I had never experienced. But that is impossible. It just can't happen. Time has turned me into a strange, beautiful, but confused vampire child. A nightly wonder. Full of such mystery. To draw others in, only to take their lives and leave them with this familiar want. The need to know more. Knowledge. Why do I feel this way? Is it normal? Is there anyone out there that can help me? Of course not. Because no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I AM normal, I know I'm one out of a 100 billion.

So now. Where does this bring me? Oh yes. The depressing end of such a useless rant. I think I'm going to end my life tomorrow. Face the sun and it's glorious rays. Feel it's warmth on my skin for the last time.
Vampire suicide.
If someone finds these pages, please toss them into the pacific ocean.
Good bye.

[Isi Runasimi]

Done.