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Post by treyadams on Mar 14, 2010 18:53:20 GMT -5
 
Take It - Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart
Cuz' I Just Wanna Be Okay Today. . .
The past few months have been quite boring. Nothing really has been happening, except the excessive amount of feelings I have going through my head. I've been alone. . . completely alone for the past three months. No one has seen me, and I haven't seen anyone else.
Not to mention that I don't even look like myself. I'm all cut up and broke down. . . my T-Shirt is ripped to shreds, barely covering me at all. . . and I've cut my jeans down to shorts. I mean, I guess it doesn't bother me. . . I'm warm all the time anyways due to me being a werewolf.
Eh, my thoughts are so screwed up. I miss Anastasia, and I miss having that life I never had before. I ruined it by running away due to fear and not being able to handle it anymore. . . and I'm tired of running.
I've smelled her so much lately, but each time I get that scent, I end up running even further so she can't find me.
I'm just scared. . . I don't know what she thinks of me anymore, and I'm not sure I could handle looking her in the face.
What does it matter? I bet she isn't even looking for me. . . she is probably wandering about to think. It's what she does. Plus, I left her; she wouldn't be searching for me.
Sometimes I wish I could just delete everything from my mind and start fresh. . .
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Last night I was in a nice fight with a couple other werewolves who were trying to invade my territory. They knew I've been living in this small room for a couple months now, and I finally told them to back off with a couple bites and scratches.
Needless to say, they got me good right across the face. There's a nice gash, but it doesn't bother me. I'm so covered in dirt and dry blood that it just adds to my look.
Tonight I just wanted to rest until I fell asleep, and that is what I did. I laid my head down on the small stash of ripped clothes and stared at the little hole in the ceiling until I fell asleep.
This might be the first night in a while that I wouldn't even wake up if I heard a person walking next to me. . . I was just that tired.
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 14, 2010 20:12:39 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA   → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
Why did she insist on torturing herself? Coming back to this place. Did she really expect Kyla to jump out and yell “Surprise! I was totally just playing” or something? Because she wasn’t going to. Kyla was dead, and Anastasia knew it, no matter how much she wanted to deny it or pretend. So what was she doing there? Walking her hyenas. Apollo and Kaiser. They were on leashes now, as Anastasia was entirely tired of running after them when they ran off because of one thing or another. The pair hated it, but they had no choice but to go along with it because Anastasia said so. They whined and whimpered, tugging on the leash, but Anastasia held fast as she walked, and eventually they stopped fighting her on it. Her feet led her to the abandoned buildings. The hyenas leading the way. Perhaps they knew more than she did about what could have been out there. She didn’t fight the path, wasn’t even aware of what path it was. She just let her mind wander, wondering if she should call Urjasz, but did so hate bothering the man.
Apollo whimpered loudly and yipped and barked. Anastasia furrowed her brow and snapped back on the lead, but Apollo wouldn’t be budged. Kaiser was whimpering slightly, also pretty upset about this, or riled up. She wasn’t sure what it was, but Apollo was much stronger than she gave him credit for, and the leash slipped from her hand. Kaiser stayed by her side, but Apollo took off. “Apollo. . . I don’t want to chase you,” she muttered before slowly following after the dog. Kaiser kept her on track by leading her around, and Anastasia stopped at a building. Kaiser sat down to indicate that this was the end of the line and Anastasia dropped the leash, letting it fall so Kaiser could stay there. She walked up the front steps and peered inside, but she wasn’t sure what to think of what she saw. Apollo was hovering over a sleeping form, licking at their face with abandon and whimpering loudly. Anastasia gasped and spun around, pressing her back against the outside of the wall, her hand over her mouth. Trey?
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 371
→ LOCATION Abandoned buildings
→ WEARING Click
→ NOTES ;3
→ LYRICS By Natasha Bedingfield
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Post by treyadams on Mar 14, 2010 20:25:15 GMT -5
Take It - Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart
Cuz' I Just Wanna Be Okay Today. . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A couple hours into my rest, I heard some shuffling and all of a sudden I did the impossible that night; I woke up. I woke up to a tongue dragging over my face, but the smell that rose to my nose made me jump out of the way and I ended up slamming my back against the nearest wall.
I immediately realized why I had a tongue all over my face. My eyes were wide, and I was out of breath at the sight of the dog who fell in love with me after I fell in love with his owner - it was Apollo. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was jumble.
"Apollo, boy! What. . . w- who broug. . . wh - - where is, erm. . . - - - Go, now!"
I said a bit stumbly, but I made sure to sound demanding. The smell of Anastasia was everywhere; her sweet, flowery smell that I loved so much. It was driving me crazy, and I didn't want to see her. I could only imagine how bad I hurt her.
"Come on, boy. . . please leave before An. . she comes and finds you here with me!"
I leaned down and rubbed his head, whispering that into his ear. . I couldn't face Anastasia. . . hell, I couldn't even say her name without gulping. The simple fact of the matter is that I was frightened to stand up to her after I had left.
I told her I'd never leave, and I did. . .
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 14, 2010 21:48:27 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
Should she go in? Say something? Or just wait for Apollo to come back and then leave? How long had he been gone? It had seemed like forever. How long had he been back? She couldn’t know that. There had been no trace of him when she and Kyla had been through there. . . the day she’d died. Anastasia had tried to see if he was there. This was where he hung out, wasn’t it? Before she’d met him? It made sense for her to look for him here. His trail was always stale, and Anastasia had never been the best tracker. In fact, she was pretty much worthless as a hyena. As a person altogether. Trey and Kyla had always made her feel wanted, that someone liked her. Daktari had made her feel even more worthless. Zakhar had made her feel like a person, at least. Urjasz. . . he just scared the hell out of her. Lately he had been incredibly kind to her, and she knew that it had to be just because Kyla was gone now and she needed it. But Urjasz had always been the buck up and rub some dirt in it kind f guy. It was nice, though, that he was being so accommodating.
By the sound of it, he didn’t even really want to see her. He was trying to get Apollo to leave him before she found him there. Apollo, however, wasn’t going to leave. He had liked Trey a lot, and the guy had been missing for god knew how long. He yipped and licked at his face. He had told Anastasia that he wasn’t going to leave her, and then he’d disappeared, leaving her there on her own. Well, not entirely. She was just alone after Urjasz had left. . . and Kyla had died. . . . She was so lonely. But if he didn’t want to see her again, then she wouldn’t make him. Slowly, Anastasia slid down the wall to sit, her face in her hands as she fought back the tears, trying hard to keep them from being heard. Inside, Apollo looked over his shoulder toward the door, then took a hold of Trey’s shirt and started to tug him toward the door, whimpering and cackling. Kaiser walked from where he sat and nudged Anastasia’s arm over his neck and lied down in her lap, trying to comfort her while Apollo fought to drag Trey outside.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 412
→ LOCATION Abandoned house
→ WEARING See other post
→ NOTES N/a
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 14, 2010 22:03:32 GMT -5
Take It - Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart
Cuz' I Just Wanna Be Okay Today. . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"What is it, boy?!?"
I said getting a bit frustrated now. The smell of Anastasia was becoming more intense in my nose, but I figured it was just because Apollo was all over me. How he found me without Anastasia was a good question. He'd always been my favorite of the two hyenas. . . and even though he listened to Anastasia, deep down I knew I was his favorite.
I couldn't tell if he was trying to drag me out to have me find Anastasia, or if he was just wanting to play. And where was Kaiser? . . . none of this made sense, but I figured from his whimpering that he was just sad that Ana and I were no longer together. We were definitely the picture perfect couple. . . we loved each other so much, and we loved spending time together. I even got her pregnant. . . and that usually doesn't happen, it was definitely rare.
"Fine, Apollo. . . only for a couple minutes."
I laughed a bit. It was the first time I'd smiled in who knows how long. . . and it sort of felt good. He always brought the play out in me when he was around. . . definitely a mans best friend, just technically a hyena.
I patted his head and started forward towards the entrance. All of a sudden I saw him leap forward and jump outside, quickly turning around to whimper even louder. I quirked a brow and walked outside to feel the cool breeze hit my skin. I looked right at Apollo and knew I'd made the biggest mistake, because when I looked down to see what he was whimpering at; Anastasia was backed up against the wall with her face buried in her hands.
"I--s. . ."
That is all that came out before I backed up and accidentally fell off the porch and into the moist grass. My eyes were wide when I immediately got up and saw her look up at me. My heart was pounding, and my brain was spinning. All I could think about was that I was standing in front of the girl I loved; the girl that I left. . . and I looked as though I'd walked out of a dumpster. My shirt was ripped and extremely dirty, and I had dried blood and cuts all over me. . . I was a mess, and I didn't want her to see me like this. I didn't want to see her. . .
She deserved better. . .
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 15, 2010 14:22:20 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
Footsteps. Anastasia barely noticed them. She was busy with her own thoughts, but eventually she swallowed her fear and looked up. There he was, the werewolf she had fallen in love with. The werewolf who had left her after telling her he never would. That only meant that there was something wrong with her. Tears welled in her eyes and she hurriedly picked up Kaiser and Apollo’s leashes, tangling them around her wrist in her hurry. He didn’t want to see her, it was obvious. Apollo was whimpering and jumping toward Trey, but Anastasia had a firm grip, not looking at the man-boy that had stolen and broken her heart. “I—I was just passing through. I wasn’t—I’m not—I’m leaving now,” Anastasia replied, stumbling over her words. Why stick around when he obviously didn’t want anything to do with her? She didn’t know what she had done, but whatever it was, she couldn’t fix it. There obviously was no chance that he’d forgive her or else he wouldn’t have left her in the first place. The tears started to fall more freely from her eyes as she chanced a glance up at him, and then she turned to leave.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 201
→ LOCATION Abandoned building
→ WEARING Nah
→ NOTES Short post is short
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 15, 2010 17:36:54 GMT -5
Take It - Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart
Cuz' I Just Wanna Be Okay Today. . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I couldn't look at her - not after what I'd done to her. It was obvious that she was extremely hurt from what I'd done. . . she was tearing up and that was ripping me a part. I felt my stomach knot, and out of the corner of my eye I could see her turn and leave. I felt like I was re-living what I did. . . I just turned around and left. A part of me wanted to let her go, but at the same time, I wanted to grab her hand and just hug her. . . and just say I'm sorry.
"W. . wait. . ."
I said in the smallest voice ever. It sounded as though I was a tiny boy looking up at his mother to ask for candy. . . it was pathetic, but I over all felt pathetic. I was the guy that wanted to prove to her that not all of us were bad. . . but I ended up proving it right and leaving her anyways.
I was scared and I didn't know what to do. . . but run.
"C- could I see. . . Can I visit. . . play with App--"
I couldn't even get it out. Small tears were forming in my eyes, and I could feel my hands start to shake a little. I was so nervous right now, but for all the wrong reasons. I was nervous to speak to her, nervous to look, and nervous to even be standing.
I'm not a man in her eyes anymore; I'm a little boy.
"S-sorry. ."
I whimpered and lifted my hand up to grab at my shoulder. I slowly turned around and started walking up the steps and back into the building. There was no hope for me; us. . . so why even try? Anastasia was through with me, and I know for a fact that she didn't even want to look at me. . . that is how disgusted she was. I could just see it.
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 16, 2010 18:44:11 GMT -5
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Post by treyadams on Mar 16, 2010 20:30:01 GMT -5
Take It - Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart
Cuz' I Just Wanna Be Okay Today. . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The tears that started swelling up in her eyes once I turned around, hurt me. I couldn't read her that well. . . especially since I've been gone for about three months. Was she crying because I'd blown her off for Apollo, or was she crying because she hated me. . . and just wanted to leap and punch me in the face.
Either way, she threw the leash up at me and hissed out. I jumped back a bit and was shocked to see her act that way. . . especially with her beloved hyena's. I knew deep down now that she was hurt from me not stepping up and saying something to her.
I still loved her. . . a lot. And I missed her more than my words could explain. . . but something inside of me was telling me that she didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
I had to find out for myself. .
"W. . wa--it! Ana!"
I yelled out in my groggy, worn-out voice. I then picked up speed down the concrete to run after her. At that moment I felt like I was a comic hero; chasing after my girl to save her. It was a corny thought, but it's what I felt like. I wanted her back, and I wasn't going to leave, or let her leave without finding out if I had a chance.
"I. . . love you, Ana. . . wait!"
I yelled out towards her running figure as best as I could. I was shocked that I yelled it out, but it was only my heart speaking. I did love her, and before she got away, I wanted her to know that. . .
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 17, 2010 19:59:46 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
This time when he called for her to wait, Anastasia did no such thing. What did he want to do now? Tell her that he was sorry and that he wanted to see her? She lifted her hands to her eyes to wipe the tears away, but she slowed in the process. Then she heard him yell at her. . . declaring that he loved her. Anastasia stopped in her tracks and she held her hands in her head, shaking it slightly. Lies. They were all lies. Everything he said was a lie. Anastasia slowly turned toward him, crying silent tears. Her lip quivered and she shook her head, unable to look at him. “St-stop lying to me! If that were true you wouldn’t have just left me there by myself when I needed you the most! You would have told me why you were leaving and where you were going. If you loved me, you would have come found me when you came back instead of making me happen upon you like this! If you loved me. . . you would have. . . you would have been here for me. . . when Kyla died,” Anastasia wailed, her voice getting heavier and heavier with tears as she became more emotional. As she blurted out that Kyla was dead, Anastasia broke out in a sob and fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around her. Kaiser circled her, whimpering.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 240
→ LOCATION Abandoned buildings
→ WEARING Clothes
→ NOTES Rawr
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 20, 2010 19:14:00 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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You & Me Could Write A Bad Romance[/font][/size] [/center] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“St-stop lying to me! If that were true you wouldn’t have just left me there by myself when I needed you the most! You would have told me why you were leaving and where you were going. If you loved me, you would have come found me when you came back instead of making me happen upon you like this! If you loved me. . . you would have. . . you would have been here for me. . . when Kyla died,”
What? Kyla had died?! What -- or better yet, when did this happen? The look of shock had crossed my face right when I heard that; and then I watched as Anastasia fell to her knees in an emotion mess. . . her arms wrapping around herself like she was in pain. . . and she was.
"I'm so. . . s-sorry, Ana. ."
I didn't know what to do. Half of me wanted to run over there and hug her to comfort her, but the other half of me was scared as hell to do so. She was pissed at me and I knew it, but on the other side of things, she needed me.
I slowly walked over to her sobbing form on the ground and got on one knee in front of her. I softly put my hand on her shoulder and rubbed it slowly. My heart was beating with nerves. . . and I wanted to turn around and run away, but I needed to be there for her. She needed me. . .
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 21, 2010 0:40:04 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
His half-hearted apology for Kyla’s death made Anastasia turn away from him more, holding herself tighter. Kaiser made a quiet Chewbacca-like sound and nudged her arm until he wiggled under it, comforting her and cuddling against her. She hugged her pet tightly, and Apollo slowly snuck his way to her, wiggling under her other arm. Anastasia didn’t even notice when Trey knelt in front of her, but she definitely noticed when he set his hand on her shoulder. However, Anastasia didn’t acknowledge it or shy away from it. She just sat there, trying to get a hold of herself. Something was making her feel incredibly stupid, sitting there and sobbing uncontrollably. She felt embarrassed and weak, and she suddenly hated herself. Lifting a hand, she wiped the tears from her eyes and leaned back, pushing her hyenas away, not unkindly. They backed off, crying quietly, but not from fear or sadness at being rejected. There was something strange about their mistress and they didn’t know what to do about it. Anastasia tilted her head back to look up at Trey, tears staining her face, but a new light glimmered in her eyes. “Why did you leave me? Where could you have possibly gone that was any better than what I had to give you? Than what I did give you?”
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 220
→ LOCATION Abandoned building
→ WEARING Nah
→ NOTES Rawr
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 21, 2010 1:01:56 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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The hyenas backed up, and Anastasia had looked up at me, her eyes all teared up. Then she asked me flat out. . . exactly what I knew I was going to hear. Where had I gone, and why did I go? I didn't exactly have an answer at that moment. . . but when I continued to gaze in her eyes, I couldn't help but bring my hand up to her cheek and rub it softly against her skin. It was like looking at her for the first time. . . she was absolutely stunning, but I quickly regained my train of thought and drew my hand back like a stranger.
"I. . . didn't go anywhere, Ana. I-- was here. . . the whole time. I j-just. . . you deserve someone who can take care of you. Not some stupid, useless werewolf like me."
I said giving her the honest answer. Anastasia was such a wonderful person, and I loved her so much. . . but she deserved so much better. Someone who could take care of her, and give her a place to stay. . . but with our relationship, it was opposite. Anastasia was buying me clothes, food, and giving me a place to stay. I felt useless with her. . . and it wasn't because I didn't appreciate her love, because I did; I just. . . couldn't give her what I felt she needed.
Standing up from where I was kneeling, I put my hands behind my back and just looked down at the ground kicking some stones with my foot.
"You need someone who can take care of you. . . and I can't do that. I don't have a job, and if I do get one. . . I barely make enough to even buy a decent dinner. I. . . can't give you what you need. . . what you deserve."
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 22, 2010 0:19:45 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
“I . . . didn't go anywhere, Ana. I—was here. . . the whole time. I j-just. . . you deserve someone who can take care of you. Not some stupid, useless werewolf like me,” he explained. Anastasia looked up at him, her brow furrowed, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. He hadn’t gone anywhere? So he’d just been avoiding her? This whole time? His hand reached for her face and she smacked it away from her. He didn’t deserve to touch her anymore. “You need someone who can take care of you. . . and I can't do that. I don't have a job, and if I do get one. . . I barely make enough to even buy a decent dinner. I. . . can't give you what you need. . . what you deserve.” He just continued to make her even angrier. Was this what he had been upset about? This was it? He’d left her because he wasn’t a good enough bread-winner? Abruptly, Anastasia got to her feet and back away from him, glaring at Trey, her hands balled into fists by her sides. “Is that what this is about! I have money so now suddenly I don’t need you? Are you that desperate to feel useful that you’re only into women who are worse off than you are? Well I hope you and whatever homeless woman you find are happy together!”
This did not seem like the normal Anastasia. Even her accent sounded more prominent. The hyenas at her side gave each other glances and backed Anastasia, his back at her front, separating her and Trey. She glared at him, her tears dried, and she backed further from him. “I don’t need to be bought things, I don’t need to be lavished with gifts. All I needed was someone nice to spend my time with. Someone who didn’t degrade me and make me scared all of the time, or beat me. . . someone who made me feel good! Is that really what you took me for? Some blonde Barbie that wanted things? A material girl who isn’t happy until I have everything? I had everything when I had you! But now I have nothing again. I don’t even have my best friend anymore,” she continued angrily, crossing her arms over her stomach. Kaiser growled, but Apollo stood off to the side, unsure as to what he should do. Back up Anastasia or try to calm the situation? Sitting here doing nothing seemed like a good plan.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 424
→ LOCATION Abandoned buildings
→ WEARING Nah
→ NOTES Rawr
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 22, 2010 6:46:37 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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I stood there in shock once Anastasia stood up and gave me the first speech. She misunderstood what I was saying; I didn't care that she had money. . . and I wasn't trying to find someone who had less than me. In my eyes, Anastasia was absolutely perfect. . . and I honestly don't think anything would ever change that.
“I don’t need to be bought things, I don’t need to be lavished with gifts. All I needed was someone nice to spend my time with. Someone who didn’t degrade me and make me scared all of the time, or beat me. . . someone who made me feel good! Is that really what you took me for? Some blonde Barbie that wanted things? A material girl who isn’t happy until I have everything? I had everything when I had you! But now I have nothing again. I don’t even have my best friend anymore!”
My brows raised when she said this. . . because it tore me a part. She just told me she had everything with me. . . and that I made her happy. But I left. I wasn't there for her anymore, and when Kyla died and she needed me the most. . . I still wasn't there. But what about my part of the story? What about what would have made me even happier in the relationship? Anastasia wasn't looking at my side. . . and that isn't fair.
"So all that you cared about was the simple fact that I made you happy? You know. . . I loved you, and I still do with everything that I have to give, but that is just the thing. . . I don't have anything. It was always, "Lets go get you some clothes, Trey. ." or, "I'll pay for that. ."
I put my head down to try and keep my cool. I didn't want to get angry at her, because it was my fault that this was all happening. Ana was just expressing herself. . . and I deserved all the harsh words. I just wanted to make her understand what I was saying. .
"I didn't want to lavish you with gifts or make you feel like some blond barbie. . . but I wanted to do something and I just couldn't. All I could do was hug you and tell you everything was going to be alright. . . and hopefully made you feel good on some nights, and if that is all you need. . . then I'm sorry for hurting you. I-- I'm still new to this, Ana. . . and I know it's not an excuse, but seeing you like this hurts me. . . I just, I - - I'm sorry. . ."
Tears welled up in my eyes a bit. I was truly hurt for the simple fact that she was feeling this way. I was hurt because I left and caused her to feel this. She was all I cared about. . . and I wanted another chance
"All I can do is say I'm sorry and hope you will give me another. . . c-chance. ."
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