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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 23, 2010 17:59:23 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA   → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
His hurried explanation was not making her feel better. Did he not realize that she hadn’t wanted anything but him? She didn’t need him to take care of her or pay for things. Anastasia had liked paying for things and taking care of Trey. It had made her feel. . . useful. Like. . . she wasn’t just some pathetic good-for-nothing. . . . Had that been his appeal the whole time? That he made her feel like she was good at something, good for something and that she had been finally doing something right? You were useless until you met him, and then you had some sort of purpose, a voice whispered. It spoke the truth, and Anastasia knew it was her conscience. She looked down while he ranted, unsure of what else she could say. Now their entire relationship was under question in her mind. Had she really loved him, or the fact that he was worse off than her and she could spend some time trying to be helpful for someone? Had she been in love with the fact that someone needed help and that she could actually give it, instead of being the one who needed help? Trey was an incredibly sweet werewolf and good-looking to boot. . . but now. . . had that been it?
“All I can do is say I'm sorry and hope you will give me another. . . c-chance. . . ,” he managed to get out. Anastasia looked up at him. Another chance? He wanted to try again? He wanted there to be an “us” again? Anastasia looked away from him, the glare still on her expression and her cheeks red. What was she supposed to tell him? She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. She didn’t know if she had ever really liked Trey for Trey. What could she do to make sure he didn’t hate her for the rest of his life? Lie, something told her. Lie your ass off. You don’t want to be with him. Just lie. Lying will fix everything, the voice continued. Anastasia’s expression fell and she turned to Trey. Lying would fix this. It had to. She had no other option. “You’re too late, Trey. There’s somebody else,” Anastasia explained, her head down with what could have been mistaken for regret and sympathy. If she was with someone else, then she wouldn’t have to tell him that she wasn’t sure if she loved him or had loved him. She slowly looked up at him, then away again, shifting uncomfortably in the spot she stood in.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 433
→ LOCATION Abandoned buildings
→ WEARING Clothes
→ NOTES .___.;
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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Post by treyadams on Mar 23, 2010 21:13:14 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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I stood there after I asked her for a second chance; and a part of me wanted to take back everything I said. I was such an idiot to just blurt out words and not think of what I was going to say before I said it. Now she probably thinks I'm some coward, and that Urjasz was right from the get-go. That I was just some money thieving homeless werewolf, who just wanted someone to give him everything he needed.
But doesn't the fact that I chose to leave Anastasia and come back to this damn dump prove that I wasn't thieving her for money? Or maybe it was something more. . . the way she kept looking down at the ground and back up, like she was thinking about what I said. . . and for a few seconds I was hopeful that she'd blurt out okay. . but instead I heard. .
"“You’re too late, Trey. There’s somebody else."
I knew that I looked absolutely dumbfounded right then, because my mouth opened a bit and I was frozen. She had told me that I was too late, and there was somebody else.
Surely if I made her so happy and I was everything she ever wanted and needed. . .this person couldn't be better than me, right? Or was I thinking too much. . . . maybe she realized while I was gone that she wasn't truly happy.
I'm so confused. . . but all I could do was put on the fakest smile that was noticeable as a facade, and congratulate her.
"There's. . . someone else; wow. . um, that is. . .er. . g-great, yeah. . . great. ."
My voice faded off as I spoke, and I sounded hopeless. Now I knew that I was the biggest dumb ass for making the mistake of leaving her. I now lost everything, and there was no return. Anastasia had found somebody. . . and now I'm just left in the dust. With no one.
She replaced me. . . fairly quickly at that, but I know one thing. . . no one would ever replace her. No matter how she feels about me, I'll always truly love her. .
I looked down and kicked my foot around a bit to try and hold back the tears that were slowly welling up. I kind of turned to the side so she couldn't see my face and tried to say goodbye as easily as I could. .
"I. . . g-guess I'll see you. . . around?"
It was pretty obvious I was torn a part, but I brought in on myself. Nobody to blame but me. . .
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 25, 2010 16:33:42 GMT -5
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Post by treyadams on Mar 25, 2010 16:45:01 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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As I turned around to walk away, it was only a few seconds after that I felt her grab my arm. I turned around, ready to put a smile on, thinking she was going to say she was lying. . . and she just didn't know what to say, but was going to take me back. I felt the smile cross my face, and I just knew my eyes were glimmering in hope.
“Maybe—maybe we could still be friends?”
She said in a hopeful voice, and my heart dropped 20 ft. The smile completely faded off my face, and I could feel my adrenaline pumping. She wanted to be my friend? How - how could she put me through that? Have me just be her "friend" and watch her and her new boyfriend walk around all happy while I'm just standing there wishing it was me in his place. With a sigh, I put my head down and just shook it.
"Yeah, Ana. Friends. Forever, right? Because it would definitely be possible for me to watch you be with somebody else when I still love you with all my heart. Let me watch you be happy with some other guy while I'm completely miserable. I'd rather lie here til I rot than watch another guy hold you. . ."
I kept my head down the whole time until I said the last line, which is when I looked her dead in the eyes.
Who is it, anyways?"
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 25, 2010 17:48:52 GMT -5
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Post by treyadams on Mar 27, 2010 16:33:41 GMT -5
I Want Your Love, And I Want Your Revenge
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"U--What?!"
I said unbelievably. She was with Urjasz? I put my head down in frustration, anger, and hurt. My hands went to the top of my head and I grabbed at my hair to pull at it as hard as possible. I was torn apart right then. I left her and she turned her back on me in only a couple of months to end up with the one person I'd least expect her to be with - Urjasz.
"So. Fucking. STUPID!"
I yelled to myself under my breath before I turned around and kicked at the ground as hard as possible which caused dust to rise and the sounds of rocks hitting the broke down buildings. I was just pissed off now - not only for the fact that Ana is with another man, but because I ruined everything for myself. I ruined it all - and from the looks of it, there was no changing it.
I tried to calm myself down, but my breath was heavy and my face was firm. I turned back around to look at Anastasia. I didn't need to drag this out any longer. . . because there was no point to.
"There's no. . . point in even talking anymore. Just. . . leave me alone."
I turned away once again to start walking, but before I went any further, I turned around and looked her dead in the eyes. . my arms crossed over my chest.
"You must have really been telling me the truth that you loved me. . . because the way I see it? You moved on pretty damn fast. I guess you just needed another pet. . ."
I rolled my eyes and went to turn around to walk on. I was overly furious with this whole situation. . . and for the first time in my life, I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
Who wants to live in their own personal nightmare?
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Post by Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova on Mar 28, 2010 15:55:08 GMT -5
ANASTASIA KIRILOVNA MARISOVA → IT'S HARD TO SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE MASK BEARING THE BURDENSHE STANDS HARD AS A STONE IN A WORLD THAT SHE CAN'T RISE ABOVE ←
Anastasia could tell from the look on his face that she had hurt him more than she had intended to. Even as the name had slipped out of her mouth she had surprised herself. The voice had fallen silent out of shock as well, but it was back within a couple seconds. Well. That’s one way to go about it, it muttered. Anastasia hung her head and hunched her shoulders. What had she done? What could have possibly convinced her to say such a thing? What would Urjasz say when he found out? She could only imagine that he wasn’t going to be too happy about it. Who says he has to find out? You’ve already lied to one person. Lying to Urjasz shouldn’t be too hard. In fact, he might not even have to know that you met with Trey again! I mean, it’s not really that important, is it? Anastasia didn’t look up. She was still feeling horrible for that look on his face. . . that devastation. . . . She had caused that. She had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. Of course, she couldn’t have expected any less of a reaction no matter who she had said. Wouldn’t Jack have been a better choice? He and her had actually dated once. Oh, what in the world had possessed her to tell him she was dating Urjasz!
“There's no. . . point in even talking anymore. Just. . . leave me alone,” he muttered, turning to walk away. Anastasia’s heart dropped and she took a few steps toward. No, this wasn’t what she wanted! She didn’t want to hurt him, she didn’t want to see him this distressed. It wasn’t in her personality to hurt people, and now she had just ripped out the heart of someone she had loved. Maybe. She didn’t like it, it didn’t feel right. She wanted to chase him and tell him that she was lying, that she had panicked and didn’t know what to say to him, that she did love him and that she wanted to be with him always. . . . But then he turned around and spoke again. His posture. . . that look. . . he was pissed. “You must have really been telling me the truth that you loved me. . . because the way I see it? You moved on pretty damn fast. I guess you just needed another pet. . . .” Anastasia’s eyes widened and she stared at him dumbfounded, stopping in her path to him. What. . . did he really. . . oh no he didn’t. Tears welled in her eyes and she hung her head, crying quietly to herself and wrapping her arms around her stomach, holding herself together. She started to fall to her knees, but caught herself. And the crying stopped as Trey continued to walk away.
Lifting her head, Anastasia narrowed her eyes and then kneeled down and picked up a golf-ball sized rock. She tossed it to herself a couple times, then hauled off and tossed the thing at the back of the werewolf’s head. “She loved you! More than you her!” she shouted at him, her Russian accent heavier than it had been seconds ago. “She least not leave with no good bye! How much you love her if can do that, yeah? How much she worth if can do that, yeah? Do not play victim! This your own fault! How long gone, hmm? Few months? You expect her not find someone who is deserving of her love? You nothing more than a vagabond! Urjasz here when needed. Where you? Hiding like little puppy. Anastasia need real man,” she ranted angrily, picking up another rock and heaving it at him. It was strange, her talking in third person. That was something Anastasia had never done before. After throwing the rock, she stood, shoulders square, head high, and hands on her hips as she looked at Trey expectantly, waiting for his response. And maybe some blood.
→ A FRAGILE SOUL CAUGHT IN THE HANDS OF FATE ←
→ STARRING Trey
→ COUNTING 674
→ LOCATION Abandoned building
→ WEARING Nice clothes
→ NOTES =O
→ LYRICS By Martina McBride
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