A Eulogy

[Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova]

If you hate spoilers, GO TO HELL because I'm going to rant. And if you get offended easily. . . GO TO HELL ANYWAY.

The Last Airbender came out today. Just got back from the midnight showing. Know how long I've been waiting for this movie? Since it was in pre-production like three or so years ago. I love the show. Seen all three seasons since the very beginning. Since it's PREMIERE. And I loved it from the beginning. When I heard it was going to be a live-action movie. . . I just about died from excitement.

I like everything. EVERYTHING. Jar Jar Binks, Twilight (well, kinda. I like the plot, just not how it was executed) And I can stand to watch the movies because I enjoy werewolves (though they're not werewolves) and vampires. (Though they don't count as vampires that the name they were given and werewolves are just generally better anyway). I enjoy everything that's come out pretty much. Pokemon. A lot of shit most people think sucks.

I was every so certain that I was going to love this movie. I was excited. I was freaking PUMPED. And when the movie ended and the crowd was booing and hissing. . . I sat there for a moment. "Hang on. This is Avatar. Your favoritest show ever. There is something in this movie that will save it from these other people. . . ." I sat there, thinking, and hoping that I could come up with a reason to love this movie like I love everything else.

BUT I COULDN'T. IT WAS THE WORST FUCKING MOVIE I'D EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

First. Where does M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong get off on changing the pronunciation of their names?! You watched the show you dumbass!! You think you're too fucking cool?!

Second. AN HOUR AND FORTY-FUCKING-THREE MINUTES?! THE HELL KIND OF RUN TIME IS THAT! YOU HAD 21 EPISODES TO WORK WITH YOU DUMB SHIT! You had at least 2 and a half hours in that movie! FUCK YOU!

Third. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH ZUKO'S PONYTAIL?!?! Yes. It was hideous. But he had one! HE HAD ONE YOU PONYTAIL MURDERER.

Fourth. Character development, anyone? NO. An hour and forty-three minutes of horrible acting and not a single bit of development going on! I think each character had like fifteen fucking lines in the whole movie. Yes. . . yes we love action and we want to see the bending. . . . BUT FUCKING COME ON. Yes, we know all of the characters and we've seen the show but that is NO EXCUSE.

Fifth. THEY SPENT ALL OF THEIR FUCKING EFFECT BUDGET ON MAKING THE END CREDITS LOOK ALL SHINY AND SPIFFY AND SHIT. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Good points? Maybe?

First. There was an ethnic sort of spin on everything instead of having them all be the same race when they obviously aren't the same race.

Second. They had my favorite part in the first season with the Blue Spirit AKA Zuko. LOVE THAT.

Third. They stayed relatively close to the first season. BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH.

Fourth. . . . . No there isn't a fourth.

I have one thing to say. . . FUCK YOU, M. NIGHT SYAMALAMADINGDONG. FUCK YOU. I hate your face. I hate your life. I hate your family. And I hate your dog! GO BURN.

*kicks a puppy and his mother* Just got fucking ass-raped. . . .

On a scale from One to Shoot Myself I rate this move "Shoot myself in the stomach and die a horrible, painful and bloody death."

Fuck.

[livinginadream]

I have given up on hope on movies that are based on other things. My heart was first ripped out starting with the Harry Potter movies. Then this same thing happened to me when I went and saw Percy Jackson. I don't understand why they bother to make movies of things if they aren't going to stay completely dedicated to the series. Obviously the makers are trying to target a certain crowd, mainly fans outside of whatever series to come see it, but still, murdering our favorite things is not flying so well. So when I see that a movie is being made of whatever book I like, or a live action remake I know that I shouldn't even waste the fifteen freaking dollars it takes to see the damn thing.

[Anastasia Kirilovna Marisova]

I generally have no problems with movie adaptations. I was fine with the Harry Potter movies except number three because it was such a drastic change from the first two and they made the werewolf look absolutely ridiculous. I liked Eragon despite every other person who had read the books hating it with a fiery passion. I read them before seeing the movie. . . they really aren't that awesome, guys. Take a chill pill. I read the Twilight books because my friend told me I should, and I was fine with how the movies turned out despite the effects and plotlessness of the whole Edward Bella thing. . . (seriously they can love each other and have other things going on). Eclipse was the only good one because there was actually shit happening.

I actually like seeing my stuff on the big screen. I have hopes for a couple of my other favorite books becoming movies. I'm so excited for Ga'hoole, too. Read all the books and it looks like they might be doing a good job. . . . A) Because you can't screw that book up. It's about owls in battle armor fighting for good! You can't fuck that shit up! It looks like it's going to be a beautiful movie.

But FUCK did they rape my show. . . raped it then gave it to their friends and gang-banged it. >< I can understand fudging some details if you're running short on time. . . . or pronouncing things weird if it was just text and no one knew how to really pronounce it anyway. . . . but it was fucking show! They pronounced the names just fine in there! And you should have fucking made it longer you douchebag! An hour and forty-three minutes!!!

[MAL BLACKNEST]

*pats* To be completely honest, I saw this coming from the moment I saw the trailer on TV. The Avatar show was a good show, one that, breaking my normal tradition, I watched until the end. This, by itself, points to it having merit. But the first trailer on TV crushed any thoughts I had that the movie would be good. Like many people, I disagree with movies being made from other media. They're fine, I suppose, as stand alone films, but if you take the time to read or watch the canon ideas of the creator of the whole spiel, I can never help but feel that a film, no matter how long it spends, can adequately capture the whole idea. The same thing goes for any film, made from a book, TV series, comic books... Admittedly, some of these do end up being good movies provided that you don't go in expecting the characters to be jumping right off the page. The idea of making a movie from a TV series, however, is plain (pardon my language) fucking stupid. It was made as a TV series in the first place because the idea was far too big and complex for one (and again) fucking movie to handle. So when I read this post, I immediately felt sad for the many people out there who have never watched or heard of the show Avatar, and instantly decided that the movie was good. Shame on them for being narrow minded twats. For others like us, who take the time to know the universe, such bland and boring copies do nothing to impress us.

"Some might say that's enough...Some might say I'm too hard to please...But some can shut their fucking mouths"

-"Yahtzee" Croshaw

[livinginadream]

Alright I know this old but I just have to say, since then I have went and watched the show. I fell in love with it! OMG I dont know how I didn't like it before. But yeah, just thought I would say that it only proved this rant more valid...So I only agree with you one hundred percent more!