Night Time Walk (Seras)

[serasalcaste]

I hiro hadn't been too preoccupied with his own depressing thoughts slowly creeping into the back of his mind, he might have noticed Era's suggestive visage sooner. They had talked about it and come to the conclusion that perhaps it was necessary in order for two people of their kind to remain in a relationship and have it work, but it still wasn't easy for either of them.

Hiro always grew up trying to do the right thing and be praised by his father, which never occurred, only leading him to love his mother even more. Doing what was best for everyone was in his nature, and he always took care of Era no matter what, but what happened between them in the shower was too bizarre for him to be able to just completely overlook. Hiro knew, and Era probably knew as well that it was only a matter of time before it would come back to hit them hard emotionally.

Watching Era carefully, Hiro lifted his cup to his lips and took a slow sip, before finally putting it back down and his gaze getting lost in it. "Era, I'm heaps sorry...." Hiro reached across the table and put his hand on hers. "I ought to have been stronger before. I can't let it out.... terrible things happen, you know that... why couldn't I have said no to you and stood up for it?" he sighed, pulling his hand away slowly. "We've talked about this, I know... but its like no matter what I say, no matter how many times... I tell myself its alright. I just know its not. I hurt you, I hurt us Era... And I even made you do things you didn't want to." Hiro grew very silent for a long time, his tea almost getting cold until he finally took another small sip, the entire time unable to meet eyes with Era. He just listened to her breathing, and sipping her soup ever so slowly. It was supposed to be a happier evening, but Hiro had the feeling he'd already ruined everything the night previous in the shower. He had barely been able to make Era happy again and convince her it was alright the last time she had hurt him. This second time around, it would prove very difficult. It was true she probably felt just as bad for hurting him as the other way around.

The happy grin across his pale lips faded swiftly, leaving not a particularly sad tone but more just a melancholy emptiness on Hiro's face. He said nothing and his breathing grew soft. There were no tears in his eyes, or any discernible expression.

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[era]

Listening to Hiro as he spoke Era stayed looking at her tea and soup, glancing at Hiro from under her lashes she watched him making sure he wasn't going to continue talking. Seeing the look on his face made her heart sink a little; she hated herself for making him lose control the way he did. It also hurt her a lot thinking about the fact that she had done something once again she had told herself she would never do.

Running a hand through her hair; after a moment Era scooted her chair closer to Hiro and pressed her lips to his cheek gently in a kiss. "I'm sorry for what I made you do...and I'm sorry I can't stop hurting you" she whispered to him; she didn't want to cry but she could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she nuzzled his neck gently and lightly wrapped her arms around his neck. It felt a little awrkward sitting at the angle she was now sitting at but she didn't say a word, listing to his bearthing Era bit her bottom lip lightly as she stayed the way she was letting her soup and tea go cold.

[serasalcaste]

Hiro glanced over at Era sadly before quickly looking away, feeling insecure and most of all inadequate. He constantly did his best to take care of Era, answering to her every whim and more just to make her safe and happy. He enjoyed spoiling her. But right then, he felt it wasn't ever enough to make up for having left her and let that man turn her into something she never wanted to be. Hiro would never forgive himself for that, for not doing his best and finding Era no matter what he was to her back then.

"You hadn't made me do anything, aside from fall in love with you more and more every minute longer I spend with you, Miss Era." Hiro bit his lip, trying his best to not make Era just bawl her eyes out. "You only wanted to help me... you trusted me... that I could keep it all under control and protect you..." A deep sigh escaped his lips as the young vampire shook his head lightly. "You didn't hurt me Era.... I hurt us. It's not your fault I couldn't keep my promise... its not your fault I'm rubbish..." Hiro's voice trailed off softly, as he still refused to think his lovely Era would be at blame for any of this. In truth, she rarely was anyhow. She had faith in Hiro's word that he would protect her, protect them. Always. And now he had only let himself ruin everything. Still, his face remained blank, soulless. Hiro refused to show Era how horribly depressed he had felt over the entire situation. It would only make her feel worse.

"Come now, your supper's getting chilly." Hiro gave her a small hug and brushed his hand across her cheek, wiping off a few tears that escaped her eyes. Aside from knowing how much Hiro loved her, and what sort of selfless character he was, there was no way Era could know just how terrible Hiro felt right then, towards everything. He hid it all to preserve the evening for her. More than anything, Hiro wanted to reassure her that he still loved her, but the vampire didn't feel worthy enough to speak such words anymore. If Hiro couldn't even protect her, couldn't even keep their relationship together as a happy one, he knew she may as well go back to her old life of being miserable and alone, being a monster all by herself. The thought tore him apart inside.

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[era]

She could prickle with tears, slowly a few rolled down her cheeks before she moved off of her chair wordlessly and slipped easily onto Hiro's lap comfortably making sure not to bump the table at all. Pressing up against Hiro she pressed her forehead against his neck as she let her hair fall over her face hiding the tears which were falling down her cheeks from view, though there was nothing she could do when she watched as they fell onto his chest.

Keeping her arms around him Era took a soft shaky breath before she started talking, "You're not rubbish at all Hiro...." she whispered against his neck. Shaking her head a little more of her hair fell over her face "Not hungry any more" Era added softly, closing her eyes she just let her tears roll down her cheeks she didn't even move to wipe them away. Moving her head she looked Hiro in the eyes; her eyes were a bit red and puffy from crying, without saying anything she pressed her lips to his gently.

[serasalcaste]

Putting his arms around Era lightly, Hiro did his best to hide himself from her, for her sake. It would only make her cry harder to see him equally upset. He was honestly surprised when she pressed her lips to his, not knowing how she could still possibly love him after he not only nearly took her life, again, but made her hurt him as well. In his mind, he had made a few irreversible, horrible mistakes, but Hiro only proved to have done it all again and this time perhaps worse even. He had been what he considered to be the worst lover a girl could ever know, and didn't feel comfortable with his own Era sitting in his lap so close to him or kissing him. Hiro had tried every waking moment of his life in the past weeks to be the best he could be for Era, to be everything she'd ever want in a young man, but thinking about it for even a second more only made him feel worse. Especially because he wasn't even a man, but a vampire. It was what always let him become not himself and ruin everything between them.

Barely able to kiss her back, his passion a little bit evident but faltering from his depression, Hiro dreaded to know what Era would think. Could she even believe that he didn't love her anymore from his lack of showing it towards her anymore? Looking away, he kissed her again, though his lips were trembling and it was clear to even the most unintelligent person that it was no longer easy for him to do. "Its... alright... you shan't have to finish it if you're no longer hungry... I'm sorry..." Hiro whispered, blaming himself for it. And in the long run, if the child she may be carrying didn't survive, because of her mother's malnutrition, it would only mean she wouldn't have the burden of baring Hiro's child, something which he thought would be demeaning for her at this point.

As the colour began to grow heaps dull in his eyes, everything began to fall apart in the rear of his mind. Even now, as his resolve had proved to be much weaker in his relationship with Era than it was with Seras, Hiro blamed himself. When with his previous lady, he had been steadfast in never showing any of his negative emotions. Years upon years prior to even meeting Era or Seras, Hiro was constantly traumatized by the death of his parents. Being alone for so long had brought up the most severe of mental barriers to block anything from coming out, or affecting him. He had bottled it up for so long, now that he was with someone whom he used to feel he could be himself around, the raw emotion tore him apart so easily he rarely proved to be anything more than a depressive wretch. Believing he hadn't handled himself well at all while with Seras, it now effected him later and in turn came to hurt Era, something for which Hiro continued to despise himself for. Moreover, his mother came to mind for whatever reason, and it only drained him of happiness further. Her illness, her lack of a relationship with his father after his birth, and ultimately her death, Hiro realized that it all stemmed from him. When Hiro had been born, due to complications, his mother's health never returned. His father rarely came to see her because he was always at her bedside. It seemed to him, even as far back as when he was too young to realize it, he caused so much pain for those around him that he loved. And wherever she was, Hiro believe that his mother whom he loved dearly, knew what he did to his own father, her husband.

With his hand shaking a little from being nervous, Hiro ran it through her soft hair, trying his best to comfort her. But he wasn't even able to ever comfort himself, much less someone else. Hiro took a deep, weak breath and let a smile come across his lips. "I.... I l-love you... Miss Era..." He stammered quietly through a trembling lip.

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[era]

So many things were running through Era's mind as Hiro put his arms around her and only just kissed her back. Watching him for a moment she shook her head a little "You have nothing to be sorry for" she said softly, resting her head back against his shoulder she could feel that he was uncomfortable with her being on his lap. Supressing a small sigh Era kissed his neck gently "I love you too Hiro" she said softly.

Feeling his hand shaking as he ran it through her hair she bit her bottom lip slightly, Era hated making Hiro feel horrible. Sitting upright once again she continued to bite her bottom lip; kissing Hiro's cheek she got off of his lap and sat back down on her chair. She didn't know what to say or do; she wanted to make it up to Hiro but then at the same time she wanted to go to work for some reason just to give herself something else to think about rather then dwell on anything depressing.

[serasalcaste]

"You shouldn't..." A soft whisper escaped Hiro's lips. He didn't mean to upset Era ever, or for her to think she should be to blame for anything. As far as Hiro was concerned, Era was at fault for nothing. Making the smile he wore even more convincing, even the look in his eyes glimmering,

Hiro embraced Era lovingly. No matter how awkward he felt in doing so, it seemed it was what she needed so the vampire was willing. He kissed her lips gently, only to pull away reluctantly. He took her face in his hands delicately, taking in her beauty. Even with tears in her reddened eyes, the girl was still absolutely stunning to him. He didn't let an ounce of his sadness through, keeping it all deep inside. "Please, show me your smile once more?" He kissed her cheek and held her close. "You did nothing wrong Era. I know you were only trying to help me. Had I been the man I ought to be, or rather a human at all, everything would have been alright." he leaned took the girl up in his arms, letting her sit in his lap again and holding her very close to keep her comfortable. "I know... we're both capable of being something neither of us fancy... I'm so sorry you have to live like that now. I know what its like to let your mind wander, hoping we were only human." He took a short breath. "I promise Era, for what its worth, I still love you just the way you are. If you're a wolf inside some nights, then you're my cute lil cub." he wiped away a few tears from the girl's eyes. "When I'd first met you, I knew straight away you weren't just an ordinary puppy, but I wondered for a while if it'd have mattered had you not shifted quite so soon. Inside and out, no matter what, you'll still be my favourite, always. You'll always be my princess Era. I don't mind what you do or say, I won't change that."

It was a little strange to see him so stubborn in his love for her, but Hiro was steadfast. He only wanted her to realize he didn't blame her for biting him. They both knew she was rather taken over by something she wasn't. "and... I'm sorry... but monster or not, I still think an angry little Era is a very adorable one. Your fangs or silver teeth hadn't changed that one bit." Hiro tried to lighten the situation in any way, hoping Era could feel a little better about what she had done when she wasn't in her right mind. Hiro was a little relieved as he was sad that she could understand how he felt when he first fed off her. "You know, bbydoll, you can be quite the fiesty lil lass in the shower. It only makes me want to have you more. And just so you know..." Hiro leaned in to whisper in her ear as if it was a dire secret and they were actually among other people who might listen, when they weren't. "When you came down on my shoulder, it wasn't the only part of you holding me so tight." Leaning back in his chair with a little grin across his lips, a soft laugh on his breath, Hiro looked a lot better than just a few moments again. "Instinct or what have you, you were bloody brilliant." Of course in truth, Hiro himself as well as the monster inside him had enjoyed every second of making such love to Era. The only thing he'd wanted to stop was hurting Era. Otherwise, her body had done him over better than he'd ever experienced before.

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[era]

Letting Hiro touch and kiss her, a ghost of a smile slid onto her lips quickly before it vannished just as fast as it came. When Hiro scooped her back into his lap she pressed against him comfortably; as he spoke she crinkled her nose slightly "A very aggressive little cub when I want to be" she said giving a small smile. Nuzzling his neck Era moved a little to make herself a little more comfortable, giving a soft sigh against his neck she back up straight still leaning agianst him gently.

Giving another soft laugh as he said she was cute when she was angry, but as soon as he said she was a fiesty lass in the shower she blushed very hard. Bitting her bottom lip as he leaned towards her and whispered in her ear softly, if it was even possible Era blushed harder "Now are you just trying to embarrass me?" she asked with a smile. Looking at Hiro fully she pressed her lips gently to his in a quick kiss; leaning against him more and pressed her forehead against his neck gently.

[serasalcaste]

Hiro didn't think Era could ever get any cute than she already was, or perhaps when she was just a tad bit angry and pouted, but that all changed when her flushed cheeks became a rosy red. They burned feverishly with such a blush the girl could barely speak her words without being indefinitely a bit embarrassed. Leaning back for just a moment, Hiro was astonished before he could even say anything. "Of course not, silly. Now why would I want to embarrass my little Era?" he asked, putting his arms around her waist. "Though just when I'd thought you couldn't possibly get any darned cuter, you sure did."

Without warning, Hiro wore a smile as he pulled Era closer to him and pressed his lips against hers. Passionately locked in a warm kiss, the vampire finally pulled away after what seemed like forever. He had completely melted into her lips. The red in her cheeks only looked to get worse but it made Hiro giggle softly in delight. Era was so unbelievably adorable to him right then, every ounce of emotion he could muster had gone into his kiss with her, letting her know how sorry he was but how much he still loved her more than anything in the world. But now that Hiro knew how cute the girl was when she'd blush, surely the next time she'd ask him if he was trying to embarrass her, he may playfully answer yes.

"You know bbydoll, I rather enjoyed the aggressive lil cubby. She wouldn't dare let me go even had my life been on it and i loved every second of the feeling. You ride like such an angel." Again Hiro whispered lightly, knowing her inhuman ears would recognize ever ounce of happiness in his voice.

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[era]

When Hiro kissed her Era smiled softly and kissed him back with just as much passion, when he broke the kiss she continued to smile softly. Giving a light laugh as Era listened to Hiro she crinkled her nose slightly with a soft laugh; "Hmm it was half her and half me" she said and pressed her lips against Hiro's again.

Moving her lips from his she nuzzled Hiro's neck gently with a smile and gave him a soft playful growl without really meaning to; smiling Era adjusted herself slightly in Hiro's lap so she was sitting more comfortably against him. Looking at Hiro she gave him a sweet and cute smile the blush slowly leaving her cheeks, the embarrassment slowly leaving her.

[serasalcaste]

Hiro was glad he could make Era so happy, and quite easily. He always felt he knew what to say, being short of words wasn't like him at all. But as soon as he saw his lover's smile, it let him forget about all he felt horrible for. It let him hide it all away deep inside, even from himself. "Don't you worry, Era. If we ever want that side of you out once more, I'll be sure she only has just enough influence over us to have fun. No more." Hiro reassured her, knowing had he not felt horrible and regained a conscious during their little episode in the shower, he would have continued to hold the lass down and she wouldn't have bit him all over and tore his neck apart. But he also let her continue to bite down into his shoulder to ease her anger, again doing all he could for their benefit no matter how hurtful it may have seemed.

Watching the color fade from her cheeks, Hiro was a tiny bit disappointed because he loved her embarrassed look, it was adorable. But knowing she felt more comfortable now without feeling embarrassed let him at ease. Just having the little girl relaxing in his lap made him happy. But also, seeing how beautiful she was only made the depression inside him more steadfast. Every waking moment he saw her, Hiro could feel his heart was split in two. The bigger half was happy and loved her more than anything, the rest felt horrible for all the terrible things he'd done to her. Every time he'd lay eyes on her he was both pleased and still hurt because he knew what she had gone through. Others who saw her out in the city only typically saw a beautiful girl, but Hiro knew too well what was underneath. A trouble girl trying to be happy, one that had seen and gone through far too much. More than any little girl should have to endure. It killed him inside to know he had a great part in it as well. The scars, he saw them all even when they weren't usually visible to people. Had she probably not loved him as much and tried her best to heal, they would still be there he was certain.

Hiro began to wonder just when their relationship had gone so strange that he himself felt too awkward to even tell her that he loved Era. That every time he'd tell her and look at the smile it brought to her lips and eyes, a voice in the back of his mind always reminded him that she shouldn't be so happy about it. He had begun to think about how horrible of a person he must be to have started to realize that if he didn't take care of Era and her unborn child, and the baby would end up not making it, he may not mind as much as he should because it would be better for her to not bare his child of all people's. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered that initially Era had seemed too indifferent about the topic and he couldn't help but think perhaps she would rather have not had a child than to be carrying, though now it seemed too late? But also, Hiro didn't want to put her through the horror of having a still birth, because then she would probably think it was all her fault. It was enough to drive a man crazy thinking about it all, but ultimately it just made him feel too sad on the inside.

Keeping his eyes closed for a few seconds longer than just a blink, to hide tears that may have formed and to ease some pain, Hiro finally opened them to Era wearing the cutest of smiles. As she adjusted herself in his lap, he put his arms around her waist, slowly and cautiously. All the thoughts he'd had about her child made him feel very inadequate to be her lover anymore. In truth, he had always known she deserved only the best and he was far from it, but Hiro just never wanted to be able to admit it. He smiled and leaned them both back in his chair. His gaze overlooked the food on the table in front of them, still only half eaten. Should he try to get her to finish it, for her body's and the baby's sake? Would she feel better enough to get her appetite back? He decided to just let it go with a soft sigh.

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[era]

Era smiled at Hiro softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around her; placing her head down on his shoulder she looked at all of the food that was still on the table and nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment Era wasn't sure if she wanted to finnish off what was left. Deciding it wasn't worth getting up for Era just snuggled closer to Hiro and gently nuzzled his neck with a small smile; as normal being with Hiro she felt safe.

Running a hand through her hair to shift it away from her face before placing a hand over her mouth to hide a yawn away from Hiro; closing her eyes for a moment before she opened them slowly again. She felt tired but she didn't want to back to sleep not yet, sitting up slightly Era shook her head a little to try and wake herself up more which didn't see to work. Streaching a little while she stayed sitting on Hiro's back she leaned back against him gently again.

[serasalcaste]

Hiro tried his best to relax a bit as Era leaned against him more. He noticed she was looking over at the food across the table before forgetting about it and getting comfortable. The more he thought about it, the more the vampire felt uneasy. Hiro wanted nothing more than to take care of his Era, but a thought in the back of his mind constantly let him be just a little less caring about the baby she was carrying. And it killed him to think in such a way. When Era had first mentioned it, he had been to overjoyed and in love to realize how horrible it would be to bring a child into the world, forcing her to be inhuman because of her parents. Though he knew it would also be rude to deny Era the joy of being a mother, which he was certain she would make an excellent mommy. Biting his lip, he did his best not to think about it but that only made him more sad.

Still, Hiro did his absolute best to not show it anymore. How could he possibly tell Era, that he sort of didn't want her to have his child. It would be impossible to explain how horrible he would feel for putting her through that. And most of all, Era was always so afraid of the wolf inside her, or the monster that her Hiro really was. Having a baby exposed to either or would honestly be so stressful. And most of all, Hiro just didnt want his lover's baby to be anything but healthy and human. Or maybe Era would still love it as much if it was a little were-cub like her mother. But Hiro dreaded the thought that it could be another vampire like himself.

"Shall we go back to bed, Era?" Hiro asked politely, seeing as how she was hiding a yawn every so often. The girl was so adorable to him.

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[era]

Era peered at Hiro with a small smile and a very sleepy look in her eyes, "I don't wanna....go back to bed" she said softly giving another small yawn as she nuzzled his neck gently; adjusting herself in his lap Era was almost curled up in his lap. Hooking her arms loosly around his neck she kept her forehead pressed against his neck gently; she didn't want to go back to bed and sleep even though her body thought she did.

Nibbling on her bottom lip gently Era opened her eyes slowly, thinking over everything that had happened since she had met Hiro; even thinking about everything made her smile and she knew she wouldn't change anyting for the world because she loved being with him. Closing her eyes Era started to fall asleep in his arms just like a child might, after a moment she moved her arms from around his neck but stayed pressed against him comfortably she was still awake enough to listen to Hiro's heart beat as it was slowly sending her off to sleep.

[serasalcaste]

With a soft sigh and a lovely smile, Hiro watched as Era fell asleep in his lap, knowing she didn't wish to. But as of late her body nearly had a mind of its own, leaving Hiro to wonder. Would she really be carrying a child? It seemed to be that way but the more he considered it, the more the thought frightened him. Was it even possible?

Standing slowly, his arms supporting Era's bottom as she leaned against him, fast asleep, the happier thoughts that ran through her mind comforted even Hiro. Though he hated to admit to it. The vampire felt as though it were an invasion of her privacy and cursed his abilities. It wasn't as if he could never control it, only with his lover. Passing anyone else on the street, their thoughts were equally as clouded to him as they were to anyone else. But no matter what Hiro seemed to do, Era's thoughts always flowed to his mind. Though at times he was thankful because it helped him relax knowing she was safe and sound when they weren't together, it grew very tiresome and often wore him out. Even across several city blocks of others going about their business, and the noise and congestion of NYC, her faint whispers still made it to him. It was nearly driving him mad.

Biting his lip as he stood in the entrance to their bedroom, Hiro turned and walked to the pair or large windows in his suite. They were nearly indoor balcony's, extending out a bit and providing a relaxing space to stay. In the one he had placed a lounge chair, almost a loveseat really. The kind you may tend to find in a psychologist's office, or in the den of a very rich fellow. In Hiro's case, he simply enjoyed looking out and watching over the majestic city. The bright lights glimmered in the night sky, the busy streets below a glow of automobile lights. Resting with Era in his lap, Hiro laughed lightly under his breath and smiled as he noticed how sprawled out and lackadaisical Era look. She seemed so very comforted and without a care in the world, and it brought joy to Hiro as well. However, he began to wonder. Would he ever start to hear a second stream of thoughts in his mind soon? No, infants wouldn't have such clear minds just yet, right? But just in case, Hiro gently turned Era over so she was no longer laying on her tummy. Again, the thought of fathering a child frightened him, but perhaps he could remain lucky in that it would prove to be a false alarm. Worse yet, it may end up a stillbirth due to their genes being too dissimilar. Hiro had considered it before, but never before had the thought haunted him like so. It brought a few tears to his eyes and before the vampire had time to notice, they rolled down his cheeks and splashed softly onto Era's. When Hiro realized it, he prayed it wouldn't wake his precious Era up and wiped his eyes away. He couldn't understand why it felt like his notion would soon become the truth, and it hurt him so terribly already. If Era would end up going through something as horrible as giving birth to not only HIS child, but a dead one, he couldn't even begin to imagine how much it would ruin the both of them, but moreso his precious and happy Era.

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